Living happily single: Secrets to self-love

In modern society, movies and social media are filled with images of happy couples, leading many to mistakenly believe that true happiness can only come from having a partner. But the truth is, being single can absolutely bring joy, fulfillment, and a sense of completeness to life.

If you're wondering how to be happy single , you've come to the right place. We spoke with psychologist Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW, to explore how to fully enjoy single life and compile practical, easy-to-apply advice for anyone who wants to turn their time as a single into an opportunity for personal growth and finding true happiness.

Things you should know to live a happy single life.

• Understanding yourself : Take time to explore your own interests, passions, and what truly makes you happy.

• Maintain a support system : Family, friends, and those who care will help you feel safe and loved.

• Self-care : Focus on your mental and physical health by getting enough rest, eating healthily, and exercising.

• Limit content about couples : Avoid films, articles, or social media that focus on romantic relationships to reduce social pressure.

• The benefits of being single include : better sleep, reduced risk of certain health problems, and the freedom to use your time however you want.

Part 1: How to live a happy and successful single life

Step 1: Take time to understand yourself.

• Love yourself first : When you understand and appreciate yourself, life will become happier and more fulfilling, whether you are single or in a relationship. This is also a crucial step in identifying truly compatible people if you want to rekindle a relationship later.

• Journaling : Writing down your thoughts, feelings, and desires helps you explore yourself more deeply and understand what you truly want in life.

• Enjoy your time alone : ​​Treat your single life as an "unlimited personal vacation." Discovering things that bring you joy will strengthen your connection with yourself and enhance your capacity for future love.

According to Allison Broennimann, PhD, a clinical psychologist: “Being single is an opportunity to build a deeper relationship with yourself. When you are kind and loving to yourself, your potential to love others increases.”

Step 2: Focus on becoming the best version of yourself.

• Taking care of your physical and mental health : Being single is the perfect opportunity to work out your body and nourish your soul. Exercise, gardening, therapy—anything you enjoy can help you recharge and feel complete.

• Mindfulness practice : Mindfulness techniques help reduce stress and anxiety, leading to a more peaceful and relaxed life when living alone.

• Regular exercise : Physical activity not only improves health and sleep but also boosts morale, leading to a healthier and happier life.

• Seek therapy : This is a great way to understand yourself better and take care of your mental health, especially if you've ever felt anxious or insecure about being single.

Step 3: Encourage yourself every day.

• Use positive affirmations : Spend a few minutes each day in front of the mirror saying encouraging and positive things about yourself. This helps boost self-confidence and a sense of happiness every day.

• Content of the affirmation : You can state things you believe about yourself, or things you want to believe about yourself. For example:

  • "I am intelligent and know how to solve problems."

  • "I am a caring and trustworthy friend."

  • "People enjoy being around me and appreciate me."

• Long-term benefits : This habit helps you build friendship with yourself, strengthen your self-esteem, and fully enjoy single life.

Step 4: Maintain a positive mindset.

• Focus on the positives : According to psychologist Kelli Miller, recognizing the positive aspects of being single can lead to greater happiness. A positive attitude helps you focus on the good instead of dwelling on your shortcomings.

• Change your perspective : When faced with a difficult situation, try to look at it from a positive perspective. For example, instead of only thinking about the disadvantages of being single, remember that you have the freedom to choose how you use your free time.

• Keep a gratitude journal : Every evening, list three things you are grateful for during the day. This habit helps you develop a positive mindset, improve sleep, and enhance overall health over time.

Step 5: Make time for hobbies and try new things.

• Pursue your passion : This is a great opportunity to do things you love but haven't had time for before, such as writing music, running marathons, or learning a musical instrument.

• Explore new things : Try taking a dance class, gardening, writing stories, cooking special dishes—anything you want.

• Long-term benefits : Trying new things helps you develop skills, connect with new friends, boost self-confidence, and improve your quality of life while living single.

Step 6: Take care of yourself and reward yourself.

• Maintain a positive self-image : Buy a new outfit, get a manicure, go to the spa or get a massage—remember that you deserve to be loved and cared for.

• Date yourself : Try a new restaurant, watch your favorite movie, or do an activity you've always wanted to do. You don't need to wait for anyone else to enjoy life.

• Long-term benefits : This habit helps build self-confidence, boost morale, and turn single life into an opportunity for self-nurturing.

Step 7: Surround yourself with people who support you.

• Maintain social connections : Whether you've been single for a long time or have just ended a serious relationship, spending time with friends and family will help improve your mood and emotions.

• Being single doesn't mean being lonely : You still have a support network around you, and asking for their help isn't a weakness.

• Health benefits : Strong social relationships improve both mental and physical health. This support doesn't necessarily have to come from a romantic partner; it can come from friends, colleagues, siblings, or family members.

Step 8: Ignore images of happy couples on the media.

• Don't believe everything you see online : Movies, articles, and social media often emphasize that you need a partner to be happy, but this isn't true. You can absolutely feel fulfilled and happy being single.

• Content selection : Avoid articles, romantic movies, or magazines that make you feel lonely or insecure about being single.

• Focus on your true feelings : Do you enjoy freedom, do you have time to pursue your passions and hobbies? These experiences are what truly matter, not the idealized images portrayed in the media.

• Identify unrealistic portrayals : Media often depicts single women in extreme ways—either as perfect "superwomen" or as lonely and pathetic. These images don't reflect real life; view them as misleading and focus on personal experience.

Part 2: Why Being Single Makes You Live Better

Reason 1: Living single is good for your health.

• Reducing the risks of stressful relationships : Toxic marriages or relationships can cause anxiety, depression, stress, or even increase the risk of heart disease. Single people often avoid these negative effects.

• Better self-care : Single people tend to exercise more, eat healthier, and have lower stress levels compared to those in relationships.

• Maintaining weight and sleep : Research shows that single people tend to have a more stable weight and get better, more restful sleep than those living in a relationship.

• Better mental health in women : Single women, especially those without children, may have better mental health than married women.

Reason 2: Being single gives you freedom with your time.

• The decision is entirely yours : When you're in a relationship, you need to consider your partner's needs and desires, sometimes doing things you don't like to make them happy. When you're single, you don't need to please anyone else; just focus on yourself.

• Make time for hobbies and personal development : You can focus on your passions, hobbies, career, friends, family, and self-care.

• A precious freedom : View your single life as a privilege and an opportunity to live the way you want, enjoying life to the fullest without constraints.

Reason 3: Being single offers financial benefits.

• Freedom to manage your own money : When you're in a relationship, you might run into trouble if your partner spends money unreliably, and you also have to spend money on dates or gifts. When you're single, you don't have to worry about someone else's spending.

• Save and spend as you please : You can use the money to take care of yourself or invest in things you love, from decorating your home and buying new clothes to modern technology gadgets.

• Demonstrate control over your finances : Enjoy the feeling of autonomy and happiness when your money serves your own goals and interests.

Reason 4: Being single helps you cultivate friendships.

• More time for friends : When you're in a relationship, it can sometimes be difficult to maintain social relationships because you have to dedicate so much time and affection to your partner. When you're single, you can spend time with old friends and connect with new people.

• Build a strong support network : Focus on important relationships, spend time with loved ones, and cherish these opportunities for connection.

• Mental benefits : Cultivating friendships helps you feel loved, supported, and enhances your mental health during your single years.

Reason 5: Being single doesn't mean you're less happy in your sex life.

• Less frequent but higher quality : Although the frequency of sex when single may be lower than when in a relationship, studies show that single people tend to enjoy their sexual experiences more.

• Focus on emotions and quality : Being single allows you to learn about your body, needs, and preferences, thereby increasing satisfaction and confidence in your sex life.

Appreciate the good things in life.

• Recognize the values ​​you currently possess : You have health, family, friends, creativity, and intelligence—especially the independence you enjoy. Appreciate these things and remind yourself that you are not fighting the world alone.

• Enjoy social relationships : If you're feeling down, take time to meet up with friends and family and participate in social activities or personal hobbies.

• Choose positive entertainment : Avoid romantic movies if you're feeling down; try action, comedy, or horror films instead.

Create a positive living space.

• Declutter and organize your space : Keep only the items that truly bring you joy and meaning, and get rid of everything unnecessary.

• Respect the past : After a breakup, write down the things you disliked about the old relationship to remind yourself why ending it was good for you.

Try new things and take care of yourself.

• Discover new experiences : Hiking, swimming, boating, traveling with friends or family—enjoy new activities to enrich your life.

• Dating yourself : Going to the movies, eating at your favorite restaurant, or relaxing at a spa—these small actions help boost your self-worth and increase your happiness as a single person.

Focus on mental and emotional health.

• Avoid rushing into a new relationship : Make sure you've moved on from your previous relationship before opening your heart to someone new.

• Limit excessive "flirting" : Avoid creating a false impression or leading others on.

• Seek professional support if needed : If you are experiencing severe depression or difficulty managing your emotions while single, consider seeing a mental health professional or doctor for support.

References

1. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/not-born-yesterday/201308/whats-so-good-about-being-single
2. https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/consumer-health/in-depth/mindfulness-exercises/art-20046356
3. https://www.cdc.gov/physical-activity-basics/benefits/index.html
4. https://psychcentral.com/blog/what-are-the-benefits-of-therapy
5. https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/signs-low-self-esteem
6. http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/adult-health/in-depth/self-esteem/art-20045374
7. https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/wellness-and-prevention/the-power-of-positive-thinking
8. http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/tips_for_keeping_a_gratitude_journal
9. https://psychcentral.com/relationships/when-everyone-else-is-married-with-children
10. https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2022/12/seeing-movies-alone-solo-date-in-public/672363/
11. https://psychcentral.com/blog/single-at-heart/2019/06/is-it-true-that-single-women-with-no-kids-are-the-happiest#1
12. https://womensenews.org/2011/10/media-view-single-women-laced-contradictions/
13. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/high-octane-women/201108/the-hidden-health-hazards-of-toxic-relationships
14. http://www.medicaldaily.com/single-life-6-scientifically-proven-perks-being-single-and-ready-mingle-306384
15. https://health.usnews.com/wellness/mind/articles/2018-02-12/5-health-benefits-of-being-single
    

Translated by: Lesley Collins Tran .