Preparing for a Loved One's Passing: 3 Ways to Cope with Grief

Facing the moment when a loved one is about to pass away is one of life's most painful events. According to many studies on grief, caring for and witnessing a loved one in their final stages can lead to prolonged stress, anxiety, or depression for those left behind if they are not adequately prepared mentally and without a care plan.

If you are wondering what to prepare for when a loved one is about to pass away, how to mentally prepare for the loss of a loved one, or seeking ways to overcome the pain of losing a loved one starting now, this article will help you gradually face reality with calmness and love. Tiptory will share practical advice to help you accompany your loved one in their final days, make important decisions wisely, and better prepare for the healing journey after loss.

Method 1: Gentle Care for a Loved One in Their Final Stage

Step 1: Seek End-of-Life Care Support

Discuss end-of-life care plans with the doctor early

• When your spouse or loved one is about to pass away, if they are diagnosed with a terminal illness and treatments are no longer effective, proactively discuss their health status and prognosis with the doctor.
• Do not hesitate to ask questions about end-of-life care goals, including pain management, comfort reduction, emotional support, and improving quality of life instead of simply prolonging treatment.
• Receiving guidance from the medical team will help the family understand what to prepare for when a loved one is about to pass away, alleviate confusion, and make decisions that align with the patient's wishes.

Learn about palliative care and hospice care services

• Ask the doctor about palliative care and hospice care programs if the patient meets the eligibility criteria.
• Palliative care can be applied alongside ongoing treatment to alleviate pain, manage symptoms, and provide psychological support for both the patient and their family.
• Hospice care is typically for individuals with terminal illnesses when the primary goal is to help them live their remaining days in comfort, dignity, and with the best possible quality of life.
• Understanding the difference between these two forms will help families choose the option that suits their health condition and actual needs.

Seek support from social workers

• If the patient is receiving treatment at a hospital, contact the social work department or medical social worker.
• They can support families with:
  • Explaining care options.
  • Connecting with home care services or hospice facilities.
  • Guiding administrative procedures, insurance, and community support resources.
  • Psychological counseling to help families mentally prepare for the loss of a loved one.
• The support of this team significantly reduces the pressure of making many important decisions in a short time.

Proactively contact hospice care providers

• You don't necessarily have to wait for a hospital referral; you can proactively contact hospice care providers to inquire about:
  • Conditions for admitting patients.
  • Home care or facility-based care services.
  • Medical staff, nurses, psychologists, and emotional support specialists.
  • Costs, insurance coverage, and related benefits.
• Researching early gives families more time to prepare, avoiding rushed decisions when the patient's health deteriorates.

Prepare both the patient and caregiver

• Caring for a loved one in their final stage is not only about medical care but also a process of mental preparation for the entire family.
• Utilize support from doctors, nurses, psychologists, and hospice organizations to reduce physical and emotional burdens.
• A clear care plan will help the family remain calm in the face of changes in the illness, while also providing opportunities to spend meaningful time with their loved one. This is also an important step to help everyone gradually mentally prepare for the loss of a loved one and eventually overcome the pain of losing a loved one later.

Step 2: Be Present and Bring Peace

Always be present to reassure your loved one

• The most precious gift you can give your loved one in their final stages is your sincere presence. Sometimes, a handhold, a gentle gaze, or a few encouraging words mean more than any material gift.
• Tell them you are always there and that everyone will be okay. For some, hearing words of love or being given permission by family to pass peacefully can help reduce anxiety and find peace.
• If their health permits, fulfill an unfulfilled wish together, talk about cherished memories, or simply spend time listening. This also helps the family better understand what emotional preparations a loved one about to pass away needs.

Listen to the patient's wishes

• Gently ask the patient what makes them feel most comfortable and at ease at this moment.
• They might wish to:
  • Be near familiar items at home.
  • Listen to their favorite music.
  • Look at family photos or memorable moments.
  • Meet close family or friends.
  • Have private space to rest.
• Respect all their wishes, even if they refuse an activity you think would be beneficial. Listening to and respecting the patient's choices helps them maintain a sense of control and feel loved.

Create a peaceful environment

• A gentle environment can help the patient feel more relaxed in their final days.
• You should:
  • Adjust lighting to be soft, avoiding overly bright lights.
  • Reduce noise from TV, phones, or loud conversations.
  • Play soft music if the patient enjoys it.
  • Keep the room clean, well-ventilated, and at a comfortable temperature.
• If aligned with the patient's beliefs, the family can pray together or perform religious rituals they desire. This also helps the loved one and family mentally prepare for the loss of a loved one.

Share spiritually meaningful things

• Reading a poem, a passage from a book, a story, or loving messages to the patient can bring peace and emotional connection.
• If they have religious beliefs, read scriptures, prayers, or spiritually meaningful content according to their faith.
• Even if the patient is no longer very responsive, hearing can often remain functional until very late stages. Therefore, continue to converse in a gentle and positive voice.

Show love through simple gestures

• Intimate gestures can help the patient feel loved and secure.
• You can:
  • Hold hands or offer a gentle hug if they are comfortable.
  • Gently massage their hands or feet to help them relax, if it doesn't cause pain.
  • Adjust pillows, blankets, or sleeping positions according to the patient's needs.
  • Always ask before touching their body to ensure they feel comfortable.
• These simple moments not only help the patient feel cared for but also become precious memories, helping those left behind gradually overcome the pain of losing a loved one later with more serenity and fewer regrets.

Step 3: Say a Complete Goodbye

Share a meaningful goodbye

• Saying goodbye to your spouse or loved one who is about to pass away is incredibly difficult, but it's also an opportunity for both of you to express love, gratitude, and appreciation for each other.
• Say the things you've always wanted them to know, such as words of thanks, apologies, forgiveness, or beautiful memories you've shared.
• Even if you are grieving, try to keep your voice gentle and calm to reassure the patient. This is an important part of mentally preparing for the loss of a loved one.

Create opportunities for family and friends to say goodbye

• If the patient wishes and is well enough, make arrangements for close relatives and friends to visit or say goodbye.
• Each person can:
  • Share a beautiful memory.
  • Offer words of thanks or wishes for peace.
  • Encourage with sincere and positive words.
• Meetings should not be too crowded or prolonged if the patient feels tired. Prioritize their comfort and wishes.

Continue talking even if the patient shows little reaction

• In the final stages of life, the patient may no longer open their eyes or respond to words, but hearing is often one of the last senses to fade.
• Therefore, continue to speak in a gentle voice, call their name, recount beautiful memories, or say that you love and are there for them.
• Avoid arguments, negative remarks, or topics that could cause the patient anxiety if not absolutely necessary.

Encourage them to reflect on their life journey

• If the patient wishes to share, listen to stories about their childhood, family, work, or memorable milestones in life.
• You can gently prompt with simple questions such as:
  • What are you most proud of?
  • What memory makes you happiest?
  • What message do you want to send to your children or family?
• Reminiscing helps many people feel their life has meaning and brings peace in their final days.

Respect their need for rest and quiet

• The patient may not always want to talk or have someone by their side.
• Regularly ask if they want to rest, be alone, or reduce visits.
• Respecting silence is also a way to show care and help them maintain a sense of agency in their final life decisions.

Accept emotions and cherish beautiful memories

• The process of saying goodbye is often accompanied by many emotions such as sadness, anxiety, regret, or fear. These feelings are completely natural.
• Instead of trying to suppress them, focus on creating peaceful and meaningful moments with loved ones during the remaining time.
• Words of love, holding hands, or quiet moments together will become valuable encouragement, helping you gradually overcome the pain of losing a loved one with serenity and less regret.

Step 4: Recognizing the signs of impending death

Understanding natural changes at the end of life

• As a patient enters the final stage, bodily functions gradually decline. These changes typically occur as a natural progression of the illness and do not always mean the patient is in pain.
• Doctors or the palliative care team can explain each sign clearly so that the family understands the current situation, knows what to prepare for when a loved one is nearing death, and avoids panic when symptoms appear.

Common signs in the last 1–3 months of life

• In the months before death, many patients may exhibit symptoms such as:
  • Sleeping more and spending most of the time resting.
  • Eating and drinking less due to reduced energy needs.
  • Less conversation, less communication, and a tendency to want to be in a quiet space.
  • Reduced interest in daily activities.
• These are common changes as the body gradually weakens, and it is usually not necessary to force the patient to eat or maintain previous activity levels.

Common signs in the last weeks of life

• As the end of life approaches, the patient may:
  • Mostly stay in bed and require assistance with most activities.
  • Lose appetite, reduce or stop eating and drinking.
  • Have difficulty swallowing water, food, or medication.
  • Experience increased fatigue and need to sleep almost all day.
• Families should prioritize making the patient comfortable rather than forcing them to eat or drink if it causes them discomfort.

Monitoring changes in respiration and circulation

• In the final stage, breathing and circulation can change markedly, including:
  • Breathing may be rapid at times, slow at others, or have short periods of apnea.
  • Rattling or gurgling sounds due to fluid buildup in the throat, also known as "death rattle." This is usually a natural phenomenon and does not necessarily cause discomfort to the patient.
  • Decreased blood pressure, changes in heart rate.
  • Hands and feet may become cooler, skin may appear pale or mottled due to reduced blood circulation.
• If the patient experiences severe pain or difficulty breathing, notify medical staff immediately for guidance on appropriate symptom relief measures.

Noting changes in consciousness and behavior

• Some patients may:
  • Become confused about time or place.
  • Become very drowsy and difficult to wake.
  • Talk to deceased people or see images that others do not.
  • Respond less when called by name or spoken to.
• These manifestations can occur due to changes in the brain and body in the final stage. Families should remain calm, gently reassuring rather than arguing or denying the patient's experience.

Changes in excretion and sleep

• As organ function declines, patients often:
  • Urinate less frequently and urine may be darker.
  • Have fewer bowel movements.
  • Sleep more during the day and be awake for shorter periods.
  • May sleep continuously for long periods.
• These are signs that the body is slowing down. Families should continue to provide hygiene care, change positions as directed by medical staff, and ensure the patient is always comfortable.

Calmly accompany the patient

• Not all patients will exhibit all of these signs, and the progression time also varies depending on the illness and physical condition.
• The most important thing is to maintain communication with the doctor or palliative care team, monitor unusual symptoms, and focus on providing comfort to the patient.
• Understanding these changes beforehand will help families prepare psychologically for the loss of a loved one, reduce feelings of panic as the final moments approach, and gradually overcome the grief of losing a loved one with peace and less regret.

Method 2: Preparing for end-of-life arrangements and wills for a dying loved one

Step 1: Discussing end-of-life wishes

Proactively discuss end-of-life wishes

• Though it's a difficult topic, discussing it early with your partner and family members will help everyone understand the patient's wishes before their health condition becomes severe.
• The conversation should take place in a quiet environment, when the patient is still lucid enough to express their opinions.
• This is an important step to help families know what to prepare for when a loved one is nearing death, and also to reduce disagreements or pressure when urgent decisions need to be made.

Discuss each issue and take time to consider

• It's not necessary to address all topics in a single conversation.
• You can:
  • Start with the patient's most important wishes.
  • Pause to allow everyone time to reflect and share their feelings.
  • Schedule another discussion to finalize decisions.
• This approach ensures that decisions are made based on the patient's wishes and medical information, rather than being influenced by momentary emotions.

Appointing a representative to make medical decisions

• The patient can choose a trusted representative to make medical decisions on their behalf if they are no longer able to do so themselves.
• The representative should:
  • Understand the patient's wishes clearly.
  • Be able to communicate with doctors and medical facilities.
  • Remain calm when making important decisions.
• If the laws in the place of residence have regulations regarding power of attorney or designation of a representative, the family should complete the procedures according to regulations to ensure legal validity.

Agreement on medical interventions

• Families should discuss with the doctor and patient about treatment options in the final stage, such as:
  • Whether to perform cardiopulmonary resuscitation (CPR) if the heart or breathing stops.
  • The extent of intensive care intervention in emergency situations.
  • Prioritizing life extension or focusing on palliative care and pain relief.
• These decisions should be based on the patient's health status, prognosis, quality of life, and their own wishes.

Discussing wishes for tissue, organ, or body donation

• If the patient wishes to donate tissue, organs, or their body for treatment, research, or medical training after death, discuss this with family and healthcare providers early on.
• Preparing in advance helps:
  • Ensure the patient's wishes are respected.
  • The family understands the process.
  • Reduce pressure when having to make decisions in a short time.

Documenting decisions in writing

• After reaching an agreement, the family should document these wishes in writing according to legal regulations or medical facility guidelines.
• At the same time, share this information with relevant family members to avoid misunderstandings or conflicts if an emergency arises.

Respecting the patient's wishes

• The goal of the discussion is not to talk about death, but to ensure that the patient receives care aligned with their wishes and values.
• When all family members clearly understand the end-of-life wishes, the family will find it easier to prepare psychologically for the loss of a loved one, make wiser decisions, and reduce feelings of regret later on. This also forms the foundation for each person to gradually overcome the grief of losing a loved one with peace of mind, having done everything possible to respect the choices of their loved one.

Step 2: Preparing legal and financial matters

Plan legal matters early

• When a spouse or loved one is nearing death, preparing legal documents early will help protect the patient's rights and ease difficulties for the family later.
• If the patient is still lucid, discuss with them their wishes regarding assets, heirs, and important legal matters.
• Early preparation is part of what a dying loved one needs to prepare, ensuring decisions are carried out according to the patient's wishes.

Creating a legal will

• The patient should consider making a will according to legal regulations to clearly express their wishes regarding asset distribution after death.
• A clear will can help:
  • Reduce disputes among family members.
  • Ensure assets are distributed according to their wishes.
  • Reduce the time and cost of resolving legal procedures.
• To enhance legal validity, it is advisable to consult a lawyer or competent authority when drafting a will.

Reviewing all assets and financial obligations

• Families should compile complete information related to:
  • Bank accounts.
  • Real estate.
  • Vehicles, valuable assets.
  • Loans or debt obligations.
  • Insurance contracts.
  • Investments or savings.
• Having a complete set of documents will help family members easily carry out subsequent procedures and avoid overlooking assets or financial obligations.

Store important documents in a safe place

• Prepare and keep necessary documents in an easily accessible place, including:
  • Identification documents.
  • Will (if any).
  • Insurance records.
  • Property ownership certificates.
  • Loan agreements or other financial documents.
• At the same time, inform a trusted representative or family member about where these documents are stored.

Seek legal assistance when needed

• If you are unclear about regulations related to inheritance, wills, or property transfer, consult a lawyer or reputable legal advisory organizations.
• If cost is a barrier, you can explore legal aid programs provided by the state or organizations offering free or low-cost legal support for eligible individuals.
• Getting proper advice from the start will help minimize legal risks and save time in resolving matters later on.

Financial preparation is also preparation for peace of mind

• Legal and financial arrangements are not about giving up hope, but about protecting those who remain from major future changes.
• When documents and financial plans are thoroughly prepared, the family will have more time to focus on caring for the patient instead of worrying about post-death procedures.
• This is also an important step to prepare mentally when a loved one is nearing death, reducing pressure during a tumultuous period and helping each person gradually overcome the grief of losing a loved one with more proactivity and resilience.

Step 3: Prepare the funeral according to wishes

Discuss funeral wishes

• If your spouse or loved one is nearing death and is still lucid, gently ask about their wishes for the funeral and post-death rituals.
• This conversation should be conducted with respect, without coercion, and in accordance with the family's beliefs, religion, or culture.
• Discussing in advance helps the whole family understand what to prepare when a loved one is nearing death, while avoiding hasty decisions during an emotional time.

Respect the wishes of the deceased

• The patient may have specific wishes regarding:
  • Burial or cremation method.
  • Funeral location.
  • Place of burial or scattering of ashes (if permitted by law).
  • Religious rituals or customs they wish to be observed.
• Although family members may have different opinions, prioritizing the wishes of the deceased is a way to show respect and love for them.

Unify the plan with the family

• After understanding the patient's wishes, family members should discuss together to agree on how to organize the funeral.
• An early unified plan will:
  • Reduce the risk of conflicts.
  • Help everyone coordinate better in handling post-death matters.
  • Reduce pressure during a time of grief.
• This is also an important part of mentally preparing for a loved one's passing, helping the family be more proactive in facing what needs to be done.

Understand funeral costs and services

• If conditions permit, research funeral service providers in advance to understand:
  • Available service packages.
  • Estimated costs.
  • Included items and additional expenses.
  • Organization process and required documents.
• Researching in advance gives the family time to consider and choose services that fit their needs and financial capabilities.

Create a financial plan for after-death arrangements

• Funerals can incur many unexpected expenses, so families should prepare a budget early if possible.
• You should:
  • Estimate the total necessary costs.
  • Check for insurance benefits or support policies (if any).
  • Communicate transparently among family members about dividing financial responsibilities.
• Prior preparation will help reduce financial pressure and avoid hasty decisions when emotions are high.

Turn the funeral into a final tribute

• A funeral is not just a farewell ritual, but also an occasion for family, friends, and loved ones to remember the life of the deceased.
• What matters is not the scale or cost, but that the ceremony truly reflects the wishes, values, and things the person cherished.
• When everything is carefully prepared and aligned with the wishes of the deceased, the family will feel more at peace, making it easier to prepare mentally when a loved one is nearing death and gradually overcome the grief of losing a loved one with fewer regrets.

Step 4: Organize information and accounts

Create a comprehensive list of important information

• When a loved one is nearing death, compiling personal and financial information will help the family handle subsequent procedures more smoothly.
• Create a list including:
  • Contact information for family, friends, and important individuals.
  • Attending physicians, hospitals, and insurance companies.
  • Banks, loan administrators, or financial institutions.
  • Lawyers, accountants, or financial advisors (if any).
• Early preparation will help the family know what needs to be prepared when a loved one is nearing death and reduce pressure when information is urgently needed.

Consolidate online accounts

• Currently, many assets and services are managed online. The family should list the accounts the patient is using, such as:
  • Email.
  • Online bank accounts.
  • Electronic payment applications.
  • Insurance.
  • Investment or savings accounts.
  • Recurring bill payment services.
• The purpose is for the family to know which accounts need to be continuously managed, updated, or have procedures carried out later according to regulations.

Securely store login information

• If the patient agrees and it is compliant with legal regulations, save:
  • Usernames.
  • Passwords.
  • Account recovery codes.
  • Security questions or other authentication methods (if any).
• This information should be kept in a safe place, shared only with individuals trusted by the patient or those responsible for management later.
• Storage must ensure privacy and personal information security.

Prepare a consolidated dossier

• You can create a physical folder or an electronic directory to store all important information in one place.
• This dossier should include:
  • Medical records.
  • Identification documents.
  • Insurance policies.
  • Asset list.
  • Account information and financial documents.
  • Emergency contact list.
• A systematic storage system will help the family easily find information when needed and prevent loss of documents.

Regularly update information

• After completing the dossier, check periodically to update changes in:
  • Phone numbers or contact addresses.
  • Bank accounts or insurance.
  • Newly acquired assets.
  • Debts or financial obligations.
• The more complete and accurate the dossier, the smoother the resolution of subsequent procedures will be.

Lessen the burden on those who remain

• Organizing information not only helps manage assets effectively but also significantly reduces pressure on the family during a period of great change.
• When all necessary documents and information have been carefully prepared, family members can spend more time caring for the patient and being with them in their final moments.
• This is also a practical step to prepare mentally when a loved one is nearing death, and helps the family gradually overcome the grief of losing a loved one without facing too many procedural and documentary difficulties after their loved one passes away.

Step 5: Preserve memories and legacy

Discuss how to preserve meaningful things

• Before a loved one is nearing death, if health permits, talk with them and the family about how to preserve the values they wish to leave behind.
• It doesn't have to be grand gestures; what's important is that the remembrance reflects their personality, beliefs, and what they cherished.
• This is also part of the process of what a loved one needs to prepare when nearing death, helping the patient feel that their life will continue to be remembered through good things.

Plant a tree in remembrance

• Planting a tree is a way many families choose to preserve the memory of the deceased.
• Over time, the tree grows as a symbol of continuity and hope.
• Each time they care for or see the tree, family members can recall the beautiful memories they shared.

Do something meaningful in the name of the deceased

• The family can dedicate a small project, a commemorative corner, or a community activity to honor their loved one.
• The form of execution does not need to be elaborate; it should be appropriate for the family's circumstances and reflect the values the deceased always upheld.

Donate items of sentimental value

• If it aligns with the wishes of the deceased, the family can:
  • Donate books, clothes, or usable items to those in need.
  • Share commemorative items with children, grandchildren, or relatives.
  • Participate in charitable activities that the deceased once loved.
• These actions help their good values continue to spread in the community.

Preserve memories through images and stories

• Collect photos, letters, diaries, or memorable stories to create a family album or scrapbook.
• You can also:
  • Record memories from family and friends.
  • Preserve important milestones in their lives.
  • Record audio or video of stories if the patient still wishes to share.
• These materials will become precious spiritual gifts for future generations.

Continue what they pursued

• If the deceased was always concerned about education, healthcare, environmental protection, or charitable activities, the family can continue these efforts in their memory.
• Where appropriate, the family can also establish a support fund or contribute to charity programs that held special meaning for the deceased.
• The value of remembrance lies not in its scale or monetary contribution, but in the fact that their good deeds continue to positively impact others.

Turn grief into a positive driving force

• Everyone grieves differently, and there is no right or wrong choice if it brings peace to the family.
• Preserving memories and continuing good values not only shows respect for the deceased but also helps those left behind prepare psychologically for the impending loss of a loved one and gradually overcome the pain of losing a loved one through meaningful actions, rather than just dwelling on loss and regret.

Method 3: Overcoming the shock of losing a loved one and moving forward

Step 1: Avoid caregiver burnout

Recognize the risk of caregiver burnout

• Caring for a spouse or loved one who is terminally ill for an extended period can lead to physical and mental exhaustion.
• Common signs include:
  • Persistent fatigue.
  • Insomnia or restless sleep.
  • Anxiety, stress, or irritability.
  • Feeling guilty for taking time for oneself.
  • Decreased ability to concentrate or make decisions.
• Early recognition of this condition is crucial to protect your own health and maintain the quality of care for the patient.

Actively seek support from healthcare professionals

• Don't try to handle everything alone.
• Talk to a doctor, nurse, or social worker for advice on:
  • Palliative care services.
  • Respite care to allow caregivers time to rest.
  • Psychological support and community resources.
• Utilizing support services does not mean you love the patient less; rather, it is a way to help maintain care long-term and more effectively.

Accept help from family and friends

• When others offer help, boldly accept it instead of trying to do everything yourself.
• You can ask them to:
  • Stay with the patient for a few hours.
  • Buy food or medicine.
  • Prepare meals.
  • Take the patient to appointments.
  • Assist with household chores.
• Delegating tasks appropriately will help reduce pressure and prevent prolonged overload.

Don't forget to take care of yourself

• To care for others well, you must first take care of your own health.
• Try to:
  • Eat regular meals, even if you don't feel hungry.
  • Drink enough water.
  • Take advantage of rest or short naps when possible.
  • Engage in gentle exercise if conditions permit.
  • Spend a few minutes each day relaxing or deep breathing.
• Self-care is not selfish; it is essential so you have enough strength to accompany the patient.

Share your feelings instead of suffering alone

• Witnessing a loved one enter the final stage of life can bring many mixed emotions such as sadness, helplessness, anxiety, or worry.
• Find someone you trust to share with, such as:
  • Family members.
  • Close friends.
  • Psychological professionals.
  • Support groups for caregivers or those with seriously ill loved ones.
• Expressing your emotions helps reduce stress and limits the risk of prolonged burnout.

Clearly assign tasks within the family

• If there are multiple family members involved in care, agree on individual responsibilities instead of one person taking on everything.
• Tasks can be divided into categories such as:
  • Direct care.
  • Meal preparation.
  • Medication management and appointment scheduling.
  • Handling paperwork or financial matters.
  • Assisting with shopping and daily activities.
• Effective coordination will allow the family more time with the patient and reduce pressure on individuals.

Maintain your health to accompany them to the end of their journey

• Caring for a loved one in their final stages of life is a long journey requiring endurance, not a sprint.
• By sharing responsibilities, accepting support, and taking care of your own health, you will have the physical and mental strength to be with your loved one in their final moments.
• This is also a practical way to prepare psychologically for the impending loss of a loved one, helping you reduce feelings of exhaustion and gradually overcome the pain of losing a loved one with peace, instead of regret for trying too hard alone.

Step 2: Allow yourself to grieve

Accept all your emotions

• When a loved one is terminally ill or has just passed away, you may experience a mix of emotions such as sadness, anxiety, fear, loneliness, anger, or emptiness.
• This is a completely normal psychological reaction to a great loss, and there is no "right way" to grieve.
• Instead of trying to suppress your emotions, allow yourself to cry, rest, and confront what you are feeling. This is also an important part of the process of psychologically preparing for the impending loss of a loved one and adapting to a major life change.

Share with those you trust

• Don't keep all your emotions to yourself.
• Find someone you feel safe talking to, such as:
  • Family members.
  • Close friends.
  • Trustworthy colleagues.
• Simply having someone listen without judgment can help alleviate your mental burden and make you feel less alone in your grief.

Seek spiritual support if appropriate

• If you have religious beliefs or a spiritual life, reach out to a spiritual guide or a faith community you trust.
• Praying, attending ceremonies, or talking with people who share your beliefs can bring a sense of peace, hope, and meaning during a period of grief.
• It's not necessary to follow a specific religion; the important thing is to find a source of encouragement that aligns with your personal values.

Choose healthy ways to release emotions

• Everyone copes with loss differently, but it's best to prioritize methods that are beneficial for your health, such as:
  • Walking or light exercise.
  • Journaling your emotions.
  • Meditation, deep breathing, or practicing mindfulness.
  • Reading or listening to relaxing music.
  • Spending time on positive hobbies.
• Avoid abusing alcohol, tobacco, or stimulants to dull grief, as they only offer temporary relief and can worsen your mental health.

Connect with others who share similar experiences

• Joining a support group for those who have lost a loved one can help you feel understood.
• When listening to others' stories and sharing your own experiences, many people realize that the emotions they are going through are common during the grieving process.
• Empathy from those who have experienced similar circumstances often provides a great source of encouragement.

Seek professional help when grief becomes overwhelming

• If feelings of grief persist and severely affect your daily life, consider seeking a psychologist or grief counselor.
• You should seek support if:
  • You are unable to perform daily activities for an extended period.
  • You experience prolonged insomnia or exhaustion.
  • You constantly feel hopeless or have lost interest in life.
  • Feelings of sadness become increasingly intense instead of stabilizing over time.
• Seeking professional help is a sign of proactive mental health care, not a sign of weakness.

Give yourself time to heal

• There is no fixed timeline for recovering from loss. Everyone adapts at their own pace.
• It's important to be patient with yourself, accepting that there will be better days and also days when emotions resurface.
• By listening to yourself, accepting support from others, and taking care of your mental health, you will gradually overcome the pain of losing a loved one. The longing may remain, but over time, it will gradually become a motivation for you to continue living, preserving beautiful memories, and cherishing what your loved one left behind.

Step 3: Prepare for life after loss

Anticipate changes after the death of a loved one

• After a loved one is nearing death and passes away, families not only face emotional pain but may also have to deal with many financial, legal, and daily life issues.
• If the deceased was the primary breadwinner or held many responsibilities in the family, this change can feel overwhelming.
• Preparing in advance will help reduce pressure and allow the family to gradually adapt to the new circumstances.

Discuss financial plans with family

• Review the financial situation with family members and create a plan for the coming period.
• You should consider:
  • The family's remaining income.
  • Fixed monthly expenses.
  • Loans or financial obligations that need to continue to be paid.
  • Costs of caring for children or dependents.
• If necessary, do not hesitate to ask relatives or financial experts for advice to make appropriate decisions.

Check insurance benefits and allowances

• If the deceased had life insurance or other insurance programs, carefully review the benefits the family may be entitled to under the contract.
• At the same time, you should also:
  • Contact the insurance company for procedural guidance.
  • Check benefits, pensions, or social security entitlements that the family is eligible to receive according to legal regulations.
• Completing these procedures early can help alleviate financial pressure in the initial period after loss.

Adjust spending plans as needed

• When income changes, adjusting the budget is essential.
• You can:
  • Prioritize essential expenses.
  • Temporarily postpone non-essential expenses.
  • Develop a financial plan suitable for the new conditions.
• Proactively managing finances will help the family stabilize their lives and avoid additional pressure during difficult times.

Don't be afraid to seek opportunities and support

• If you need to increase your income, share your need for a job or suitable income source with relatives, friends, or colleagues.
• Many people are willing to help by:
  • Introducing job opportunities.
  • Sharing recruitment information.
  • Helping with childcare or other tasks to give you time to stabilize your life.
• Accepting help is not a burden to others but a way to help you overcome difficult times more sustainably.

Give yourself time to adapt

• After a great loss, facing many emotional and financial changes at the same time is not easy.
• Accept that you don't need to solve everything at once. Prioritizing issues by urgency and taking small steps will make things more manageable.
• With early preparation for finances, legal matters, and family support, you will be more steadfast in the journey of preparing psychologically for a loved one's impending death, and gradually overcoming the pain of losing a loved one to rebuild your life after the ordeal.

Step 4: Give yourself time to heal

Understand that everyone has their own journey of overcoming loss

• After a loved one is nearing death or has passed away, there is no set timeline for you to stop grieving or return to normal life.
• Everyone experiences the grieving process at a different pace and in their own way, depending on their relationship, life circumstances, and coping abilities.
• Don't compare yourself to others or feel "weak" just because you need more time to recover. This is a natural part of overcoming the pain of losing a loved one.

Welcome care but listen to yourself

• Family and friends often want you to stabilize your life soon because they love and worry about you.
• However, sometimes they may inadvertently say things like "be strong" or "it's time to move on" when you're not really ready.
• In these situations, you can gently share that you need more time and hope they continue to accompany you, listening instead of pushing.
• Remember that most of these words come from good intentions, even if they don't yet know how to support someone experiencing loss.

Let go of guilt and regret

• After losing a loved one, many people often blame themselves for things they didn't get to do or decisions made in the past.
• In reality, no one can do everything perfectly in a situation full of pressure and emotion.
• Instead of focusing only on unfinished tasks, remember the love, care, and meaningful moments you shared.
• If feelings of guilt persist and affect your life, seek support from a psychologist or someone you trust.

Continue to cherish beautiful memories

• Loved ones may no longer be present, but their love and the values they left behind can still accompany you.
• You can preserve memories in many ways:
  • Maintain family traditions they loved.
  • Tell beautiful stories to your children and grandchildren.
  • Continue to do meaningful things they once pursued.
  • Dedicate time to remember them on special occasions.
• Remembering does not prevent you from moving forward but helps the good values of the deceased continue to exist in life.

Prepare early to reduce future pressure

• Issues such as end-of-life care plans, legal documents, finances, and funeral wishes should be discussed when everyone is healthy and can make informed decisions.
• Early preparation is not pessimistic, but an act of responsibility towards yourself and your family.
• This is also a practical answer to the question what to prepare for when a loved one is nearing death, significantly reducing pressure when the family faces a real crisis.

Believe that life will gradually return to balance

• The pain of losing a loved one may not completely disappear, but over time, you will learn to live with those memories.
• Allow yourself to embrace love, hope, and the good things that will come in the future without feeling guilty.
• By preparing psychologically for a loved one's impending death, proactively arranging important matters, and being patient with yourself, you will gradually overcome the pain of losing a loved one. Healing doesn't mean forgetting the deceased, but continuing to live a meaningful life with the love and beautiful memories they left behind.

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Content edited by: Rowan Hudson Le.

Information consulted and verified by expert: Matthew Turner.