How to Naturally Relax the Anal Sphincter: 5 Effective Pain-Relieving Tips

Difficulty passing stool, having to strain a lot, or always feeling like you "need to go but can't" is sometimes not just due to constipation. One possible cause is the anal sphincter not relaxing at the right time, making it difficult for stool to pass even when you feel the urge to defecate. This condition of sphincter spasm can also be related to stress, inappropriate bowel habits, or certain anorectal health issues. According to NIDDK, chronic constipation affects about 16% of adults, indicating that difficulty passing stool is a fairly common problem.

In this article, Tiptory helps you understand why the sphincter can be tense, and guides you through simple ways to relax the sphincter, calm your body, and support a more natural bowel movement. If the condition persists, causes significant pain, or is accompanied by bleeding, experts recommend seeking the cause rather than trying to strain forcefully.

How to relax the sphincter during bowel movements

Deep breathing to reduce sphincter spasms

• Sit or lie in a comfortable position, relaxing your shoulders and abdomen.

• Inhale slowly through your nose for about 4 seconds, focusing on feeling your anal sphincter area.

• Exhale slowly for about 4 seconds, trying to relax the sphincter instead of clenching it.

• Repeat for a few cycles until your body feels less tense. This technique can help reduce muscle straining during bowel movements, but you should not force the sphincter to relax.

Gently massage your lower abdomen

• Use your fingertips to gently massage your abdomen, avoiding strong pressure that causes pain.

• Start from the left side of your abdomen, move gently downwards, then switch to the right side and repeat.

• Combine massage with slow breathing to help your body relax.

• Abdominal massage may support bowel motility in some people, but it is not a direct treatment for sphincter spasm.

Elevate your feet when sitting on the toilet

• When having a bowel movement, place a low stool or footrest under both feet.

• Raise your knees higher than your hips and lean slightly forward, while keeping your back relatively straight.

• This posture helps create a more favorable angle between the rectum and anus, thereby aiding in relaxing the sphincter and pelvic floor muscles during defecation.

• Relax your abdomen, breathe evenly, and avoid straining forcefully. If you cannot go after a few minutes, stand up and try again later instead of trying to prolong the time spent on the toilet.

Do not strain to relax the sphincter

• When the sphincter is in spasm, forceful straining usually does not help the muscle relax and can increase pressure on the anal area.

• Prioritize combining sphincter relaxation, slow breathing, and proper sitting posture.

• If you frequently feel stool is blocked, have to strain a lot, or cannot coordinate sphincter relaxation during bowel movements, you should talk to a doctor to check for causes such as pelvic floor dyssynergia or chronic constipation.

Part 1: How to naturally relax the sphincter at home

Tip 1: Deep breathing to relax the sphincter

Slow inhalation and exhalation to relax the sphincter

• Sit or lie in a comfortable position, relaxing your shoulders, abdomen, and the muscles around your pelvis.

• Inhale slowly and deeply for about 4 seconds, then exhale slowly for about 4 seconds.

• As you exhale, focus on feeling your anal area and actively relax your sphincter, rather than trying to clench the muscle.

• Continue breathing evenly until you feel your body and pelvic floor area are less tense. Slow breathing techniques can help reduce muscle tensing due to stress, especially when you find it difficult to relax your sphincter during bowel movements.

Identify the sphincter location before practicing

• Imagine you are trying to prevent passing gas or trying to hold in a bowel movement. At this point, the muscles around your anus will automatically contract.

• Feel this muscle contraction for a few seconds, then actively relax completely.

• You can perform the contract and relax sphincter movement a few times before starting the breathing exercise to better recognize the difference between tension and relaxation.

• Do not maintain muscle clenching for too long or repeat too forcefully, as the goal of the exercise is to help you recognize and relax your anal sphincter.

Repeat the exercise gently

• Perform cycles of inhaling for about 4 seconds and exhaling for about 4 seconds, while maintaining attention to the feeling of relaxation in the anal area.

• You can start with about 15 cycles and then assess how your body feels. There's no need to force it longer if you feel dizzy, uncomfortable, or tired.

• The important thing is to breathe deeply to relax the sphincter, not to force the muscle to relax with effort.

• If you frequently experience sphincter spasms, difficulty passing stool, have to strain a lot, or feel stool is obstructed, breathing exercises should only be considered a supportive measure. A persistent condition may require a doctor's evaluation to find the cause, such as pelvic floor dyssynergia.

Tip 2: Meditation helps relax the sphincter

Meditate to reduce stress and relax muscles

• Sit in a comfortable position, keeping your back relatively straight, close your eyes, and relax your shoulders.

• Inhale slowly through your nose, then exhale slowly. Maintain an even and gentle breathing rhythm.

• Focus on your breath instead of thinking about the discomfort of bowel movements. As your whole body gradually relaxes, pay attention to relaxing your sphincter and pelvic floor area.

• Meditation does not directly treat sphincter spasms, but reducing stress can help limit the unconscious tendency to clench pelvic muscles in some people.

Choose a quiet space to easily relax

• Prioritize a place with less noise, pleasant lighting, and no interruptions from phones or other people.

• You can start with a few minutes at a time, focusing on your breathing instead of trying to achieve immediate relaxation.

• As your body gets used to it, recognizing when the sphincter is tense and actively relaxing the sphincter may become easier.

Be persistent if you don't see immediate results

• Meditation is a skill that requires practice; it's normal not to be able to fully relax the first time you try it.

• If your mind is constantly distracted, simply gently bring your attention back to your breath, without trying to force yourself to "empty" your thoughts.

• If persistent anal sphincter spasms, difficulty passing stool, or straining continue despite applying relaxation techniques, you should talk to a doctor to identify the cause instead of just focusing on stress reduction.

Tip 3: Abdominal massage to help relax the sphincter

Gently massage the lower abdomen

• Lie on your back in a comfortable position, relax your abdomen, and breathe evenly before starting.

• Use your fingertips to apply light pressure to the area of your abdomen just below your ribs. Do not press deeply or perform if your abdomen is in pain.

• Massage with gentle strokes or small circles from the left side of the abdomen downwards towards the hip.

• Continue using your right hand to massage horizontally across the area below your ribs towards the left side, then move down along the side.

• Finally, start from the lower right abdomen near the hip, massage upwards towards the ribs, and then repeat the above movements.

• Perform slowly, combining deep breathing to help your body relax. Abdominal massage can support bowel motility in some people, but it should not be considered a direct way to relax the sphincter.

Adjust massage pressure according to body sensation

• Only use light to moderate pressure to create a comfortable sensation; do not press hard with the intention of "pushing" stool down.

• You can repeat the movements until your abdomen feels comfortable and your body is more relaxed.

• If increasing abdominal pain, severe bloating, nausea, or unusual discomfort occurs, stop the massage.

• For people who frequently experience sphincter spasms, difficulty passing stool, or have to strain a lot, abdominal massage is only a supportive measure. Relaxing the anal sphincter needs to be combined with appropriate bowel movement posture and an evaluation of the cause if symptoms persist.

Tip 4: Proper foot elevation for easier bowel movements

Elevate feet to aid sphincter relaxation

• When sitting on the toilet, place both feet on a low, sturdy footstool.

• Adjust the height so your knees are higher than your hips, while keeping your feet firmly on the platform.

• Lean slightly forward, you can place your hands on your thighs to maintain a stable posture.

• This posture helps the pelvic floor muscles relax more and can support sphincter relaxation during defecation.

• There's no need to force the sphincter to relax; just breathe evenly and let the bowel movement happen naturally.

Sit completely on the toilet when having a bowel movement

• Avoid a half-squatting position or just "hovering" above the toilet as this can make it difficult for the pelvic floor muscles to relax.

• Sit firmly, relax your abdomen, and avoid clenching your anal muscles while trying to have a bowel movement.

• If you can't go yet, don't strain forcefully or sit for too long. You can stand up, move gently, and try again when you feel the urge.

Combine posture with slow breathing

• Inhale gently, then exhale slowly while keeping your shoulders, abdomen, and pelvic floor relaxed.

• Focus on the sensation of "opening" and relaxing the sphincter instead of trying to push stool with force.

• If you frequently feel blocked when having a bowel movement, have to strain a lot, or experience anal sphincter spasms, you should talk to a doctor to check for the cause instead of just changing your toilet posture.

Tip 5: Do not self-insert fingers into the anus

Prioritize safer relaxation methods

• Self-inserting a finger into the anus to try and relax the sphincter should not be the first choice, as it can cause mucosal abrasions, pain, bleeding, or introduce bacteria into the anal area.

• If you are having difficulty passing stool, first try foot elevation, slow breathing, and sphincter relaxation instead of directly manipulating the muscle.

• Do not use objects or fingers to try to remove stool unless instructed by a healthcare professional.

If manual disimpaction is needed, it should be performed by healthcare professionals

• In some cases of severe constipation or impacted stool, healthcare professionals may need to perform manual disimpaction.

• This procedure requires an assessment of the anorectal condition and the use of appropriate protective measures and lubrication to reduce the risk of injury.

• Self-performing this at home is particularly inappropriate if you have sphincter spasms, anal pain, bleeding, or an unknown cause of difficulty passing stool.

Know when to see a doctor

• If you frequently cannot relax your anal sphincter, have to strain forcefully, or feel stool is blocked in the anus, you should talk to a doctor.

• Seek medical attention early if constipation is accompanied by severe abdominal pain, vomiting, severe bloating, inability to pass gas, or blood in the stool.

• When the condition recurs, a doctor can assess for chronic constipation, pelvic floor dyssynergia, or other causes instead of just finding ways to temporarily relax the sphincter.

Part 2: Medical treatment for sphincter spasms

Note 1: When to seek medical attention for sphincter spasms

See a doctor if symptoms persist

• If constipation, difficulty passing stool, or sphincter spasms persist for 2 weeks or more, you should see a doctor to identify the cause instead of just trying to relax the sphincter at home.

• The doctor may ask about bowel habits, current medications, and accompanying symptoms, and perform an anorectal examination if necessary.

• Correctly identifying the cause helps choose the appropriate treatment, rather than just trying to relax the sphincter for a short time.

Tight sphincter can be related to many causes

• Some cases may be related to muscle damage or pelvic floor dysfunction.

• Neurological issues can also affect the ability to coordinate between the pelvic floor muscles and the sphincter during bowel movements.

• After childbirth, especially with pelvic trauma, muscle and nerve function related to defecation can change.

• Long-term laxative abuse can also disrupt bowel habits and needs to be evaluated by a doctor.

Do not self-treat for a prolonged period

• If you have tried measures such as increasing fiber, drinking enough water, exercising, and adjusting bowel movement posture but still have difficulty defecating, seek medical advice.

• Do not continuously strain forcefully or self-insert fingers into the anus to relax the sphincter, as this can cause injury and does not address the underlying cause.

• When the cause is related to pelvic floor dyssynergia, the doctor may consider specialized methods such as pelvic floor physical therapy or biofeedback to help the patient learn how to contract and relax the muscles at the right time.

Note 2: Do not self-medicate with sphincter relaxants

Only use medication when prescribed by a doctor

• If you cannot relax the sphincter with relaxation techniques, do not self-purchase muscle relaxants for use.

• Muscle relaxants can cause side effects and not all cases of sphincter spasm require medication.

• The doctor will determine the cause of muscle relaxation difficulty, then consider appropriate medication or treatment methods.

Do not self-administer dicyclomine

• Dicyclomine is an antispasmodic drug used in some gastrointestinal conditions, but it should not be assumed that this drug is suitable for relaxing the anal sphincter.

• Drug use must be based on diagnosis, health status, current medications, and the risk of side effects.

• Do not self-medicate with prescription drugs solely for the purpose of easier bowel movements, especially when constipation or sphincter spasms persist.

Find the cause instead of just relaxing the muscle

• If you frequently feel your sphincter is tight, stool is difficult to pass, or you have to strain a lot, the problem may be related to pelvic floor dysfunction or other causes.

• In these cases, treating the underlying cause is often more important than temporarily relaxing the sphincter with medication.

• Talk to a doctor if symptoms persist, recur, or significantly affect daily activities.

Note 3: Biofeedback helps relax the sphincter

Biofeedback training with a pelvic floor specialist

• If you frequently find it difficult to relax your sphincter muscle during bowel movements, discuss pelvic floor physical therapy and biofeedback with your doctor.

• Biofeedback helps patients recognize muscle activity through visual signals or measuring devices, thereby learning to coordinate sphincter contraction and relaxation at the right time.

• For individuals with pelvic floor muscle incoordination, this method can help improve their ability to relax muscles during defecation.

Follow a personalized program

• A pelvic floor physical therapist will assess your ability to contract, relax your sphincter muscle, and coordinate related muscle groups.

• Exercises are tailored to your specific condition, rather than just instructing you to tighten or relax your muscles at home.

• The number of treatment sessions and the time to improvement vary among individuals, so a fixed number of sessions should not be considered a standard for all cases.

Consult your doctor if symptoms recur

• If constipation persists, requires excessive straining, or if you feel stool is trapped despite changing positions and bowel habits, consult your doctor.

• Your doctor can assess the cause and refer you to a pelvic floor physical therapist if appropriate.

• The goal is not only to relax the anal sphincter but also to restore coordination between the pelvic floor muscles, sphincter, and rectum for smoother defecation.

Note 4: When sphincter surgery is necessary

Consider surgery only when essential

• Surgery is not a first-line option for relaxing the sphincter muscle or treating difficulty in defecation due to sphincter spasm.

• Doctors only consider surgical intervention when a specific cause has been identified and conservative treatments are ineffective or if sphincter damage needs repair.

• The decision for surgery should be based on the severity of symptoms, the cause, sphincter function, and overall health status.

Thorough evaluation before surgery

• Doctors may need to rule out causes such as chronic constipation, pelvic floor dysfunction, muscle damage, or neurological problems.

• Depending on the cause, methods like bowel habit modification, medication, pelvic floor physical therapy, or biofeedback may be prioritized.

• You should not self-select surgery simply because home remedies to relax the sphincter muscle are ineffective.

Surgery depends on the cause

• There are many different types of colorectal surgeries, and each technique is suitable for a specific set of problems.

• In some cases of severe sphincter damage causing fecal incontinence, doctors may consider reconstructive methods or devices to replace sphincter function.

• Therefore, it should not be assumed that artificial sphincter implantation is the method for all cases of unrelaxed sphincter muscle. This is a specialized decision that requires direct assessment and consultation.

Habits for a healthier pelvic floor

Correct Kegel exercises

• Kegel exercises help strengthen the pelvic floor muscles and muscles related to bowel control.

• However, if the main issue is sphincter spasm or persistently tense pelvic floor muscles, avoid overdoing Kegel exercises as continuous muscle tightening can make it difficult to relax the sphincter muscle.

• If the cause has not been identified, a pelvic floor physical therapist can guide you on how to coordinate muscle contraction and relaxation appropriately.

Discuss specialized methods with your doctor

• Electroacupuncture is a method being researched for treating certain muscle dysfunctions and pain. Its effectiveness depends on the specific condition and should not yet be considered a standard way to relax the sphincter muscle.

• If you cannot relax your sphincter muscle on your own or if symptoms persist, consult your doctor before choosing additional interventions.

Defecate when your body signals

• When you feel the urge to defecate, go to the bathroom instead of frequently holding it in or delaying.

• Allow enough time for defecation but avoid sitting on the toilet for too long.

• Combine a squatting position, leaning slightly forward, and slow breathing to help relax the anal sphincter.

Do not strain during bowel movements

• Avoid straining hard or holding your breath to push out stool.

• Prolonged straining can increase pressure in the abdomen and anal area, and worsen discomfort.

• If you frequently have to strain to pass stool, you should find the cause of constipation or difficulty relaxing the pelvic floor muscles instead of continuing to exert force.

Caution when directly affecting the anal area

• The anal area has sensitive tissues and blood vessels, prone to damage from friction or improper mechanical manipulation.

• Do not self-insert fingers or instruments into the anus to try to relax the sphincter muscle, especially when experiencing pain, bleeding, or an existing anal-rectal condition.

• If fecal disimpaction or direct intervention is needed, it should be performed by medical personnel.

Seek medical attention for persistent constipation

• Constipation lasting more than 2 weeks, recurring frequently, or worsening should be medically evaluated.

• It is especially important to see a doctor if you have blood in your stool, significant abdominal pain, unintentional weight loss, vomiting, or a noticeable change in bowel habits.

• The treatment goal is not just temporary sphincter relaxation but identifying and addressing the underlying cause of defecation difficulties.

References

1. National Institute of Diabetes and Digestive and Kidney Diseases. (2018). Symptoms & Causes of Constipation. U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, National Institutes of Health.
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6. Rao, S. S. C., Benninga, M. A., Bharucha, A. E., et al. (2015). ANMS-ESNM position paper and consensus guidelines on biofeedback therapy for anorectal disorders. Neurogastroenterology & Motility, 27(5), 594–609. This consensus document recommends biofeedback for constipation associated with dyssynergic defecation.
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8. Arnold, M. J. (2026). Management of Chronic Constipation: Guidelines From the American Society of Colon and Rectal Surgeons. American Family Physician, 113(4), 404–406.
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Content edited by: Leigh Kennedy Ly.

Information consulted and verified by expert: Olivia Thompson.