Caring for a Chronically Ill Person: 9 Tips for Understanding and Empathy

According to the World Health Organization (WHO), approximately 1 in 5 adults live with chronic pain, a condition of persistent pain lasting 3 months or more that can severely affect physical and mental health, as well as quality of life. Many patients face the feeling of being misunderstood because others cannot see their pain, yet they endure it every day.

If you have a family member, partner, friend, or colleague suffering from chronic pain, understanding and supporting them correctly will help reduce their mental burden and improve their quality of life. In this article, Tiptory will help you understand the nature of chronic pain, the difficulties patients often face, and share principles for caring for chronic pain patients, including how to communicate, support, and accompany them to help them feel heard, respected, and navigate their treatment journey more easily.

Part 1: Understanding Chronic Pain

Meaning 1: Understanding the patient's pain

Listen to accurately understand chronic pain

• Each person with chronic pain has a different experience. The same diagnosis can lead to varying pain levels, frequencies, and impacts on daily life.

• Create opportunities for the patient to share about their health condition, daily struggles, and feelings they face every day if they are willing to talk.

• When you better understand the patient's journey, you will find it easier to empathize and know how to care for chronic pain patients appropriately according to their actual needs.

Understand the cause of pain, if any

• Ask the patient or find out when the pain started and if it is related to any illness or injury.

• Some common causes of chronic pain include:

  • Prolonged back injury or sprains.

  • Arthritis and degenerative joint diseases.

  • Nerve damage due to diabetes.

  • Neuralgia or other neurological conditions.

  • Infections leaving prolonged pain complications.

• Reading medical literature or learning about the stories of people with similar conditions can also help you better understand the challenges the patient is experiencing.

Understand that the cause cannot always be identified

• In many cases, even after extensive tests, doctors cannot pinpoint the exact source of the pain.

• This does not mean the patient "is not sick" or is "imagining the pain." Studies show that chronic pain can be related to complex changes in the nervous system and how the brain processes pain signals.

• It is crucial to respect the patient's feelings and believe that they are genuinely suffering from pain every day.

Do not force the patient to talk about their pain

• Some people feel relieved when sharing, but others feel more exhausted or distressed when they have to revisit their condition.

• If they are not ready, respect their privacy and let them open up when they feel comfortable.

• In caring for chronic pain patients, listening at the right time is always more effective than constantly asking questions.

Recognize common types of chronic pain

• Chronic pain can manifest in various forms, including:

  • Persistent headaches or chronic migraines.

  • Chronic low back pain.

  • Arthritis pain.

  • Pain due to peripheral nerve damage or central nervous system damage.

  • Persistent pain with no specific identifiable cause.

• Many people also suffer from multiple co-occurring pain conditions, such as:

  • Chronic fatigue syndrome.

  • Endometriosis.

  • Sciatica.

  • Peripheral neuropathy.

  • Chronic inflammatory bowel disease.

  • Depression or co-occurring psychological disorders.

Understand that pain is very difficult to describe in words

• People with chronic pain often find it difficult to accurately describe their pain because language cannot fully convey the intensity of their suffering.

• Try to recall the most severe pain you have ever experienced and imagine that feeling lasting continuously 24 hours a day, for months or years, without any period of complete pain relief. This helps you partly understand the physical and mental pressures the patient is facing.

• Instead of repeatedly asking the patient to explain their pain, show empathy by listening, being patient, and being present. This is a crucial foundation for effective and humane chronic pain patient care.

Meaning 2: Understanding how the patient assesses pain levels

Learn about the 0 to 10 pain scale

• In healthcare, doctors and medical staff often use a pain scale to assess the level of chronic pain and monitor treatment effectiveness over time.

• This scale is typically rated from 0 to 10, where:

  • 0 points: No pain.

  • 1–3 points: Mild pain, still able to perform normal activities.

  • 4–6 points: Moderate pain, starting to affect work and daily life.

  • 7–9 points: Severe pain, causing difficulty in movement or concentration.

  • 10 points: The most severe pain the patient has ever experienced.

• If the patient agrees, you can ask them where they are on the pain scale to understand their current condition and provide more appropriate support.

Don't assume "I'm fine" means no pain

• Many people with chronic pain still answer "I'm fine" or "It's okay" even though they are in pain every day.

• Reasons may include:

  • Not wanting to worry loved ones.

  • Having become accustomed to prolonged pain.

  • Fear of being accused of complaining or exaggerating symptoms.

  • Wanting to continue work and life as usual.

• Therefore, in caring for chronic pain patients, do not rely solely on short statements to assess their condition.

Patients may underestimate their pain level

• People living with chronic pain often gradually adapt to a certain level of pain and consider it "normal." Therefore, the score they provide is sometimes lower than the actual pain level.

• For example, someone who has constantly experienced 5-6 points of pain for months might consider that a familiar state and only report a higher pain level when the pain suddenly increases.

• This makes assessing the level of chronic pain more complex than acute pain.

Distinguish between chronic and acute pain

• Patients usually describe more accurately when acute pain occurs or when the pain changes from normal.

• They may notice:

  • The pain becoming more severe than before.

  • A change in pain sensation, such as from dull aching to sharp, electric-shock-like pain.

  • Burning, hot pain instead of pulsating or throbbing pain.

• These changes provide important information for doctors to assess the condition and adjust the treatment plan.

Ask specific questions to accurately understand the situation

• Instead of just asking "Are you in pain?", try asking:

  • "What level is your chronic pain today on a scale of 0-10?"

  • "Compared to normal days, is the pain worse today?"

  • "Are you experiencing any new types of pain, such as throbbing, burning, or radiating pain?"

• Specific questions will help the patient describe their condition more accurately, while also supporting more effective chronic pain patient care and disease monitoring.

Meaning 3: Understanding how patients adapt to pain

Recognize that patients have developed coping mechanisms

• When you have a cold or a short-term illness, you might feel very tired for a few days or weeks but still manage to complete necessary tasks.

• For people with chronic pain, this condition can last for months or years. To continue studying, working, and living, they often gradually develop ways to adapt to chronic pain to maintain their daily lives.

• Understanding this will give you a more realistic perspective when caring for chronic pain patients.

Don't let appearances fool you

• Many people with chronic pain can still:

  • Go to work or school on time.

  • Smile, talk, and communicate normally.

  • Participate in social activities.

  • Complete daily tasks.

• However, that does not mean they are no longer in pain. They are simply trying to adapt and hide their pain so that their lives are less disrupted.

Understand that the patient is expending a lot of energy

• Enduring continuous chronic pain keeps the body and mind constantly in a state of stress.

• Therefore, patients may:

  • Get tired faster than normal people.

  • Need more rest after simple activities.

  • Have difficulty concentrating or reduced work performance.

  • Limit participation in prolonged activities.

• This is a common consequence of prolonged pain, not a sign of laziness or lack of effort.

Respect the patient's limitations

• Some days, patients can function almost normally, but other days, their pain flares up, forcing them to cancel plans or rest more.

• Instead of judging them based on yesterday's capabilities, understand that the intensity of chronic pain can vary from day to day or even from moment to moment.

• Flexibility and empathy are crucial factors in caring for chronic pain patients, helping them feel respected and reducing psychological pressure.

Accompany instead of judging

• If the patient declines an invitation or needs to stop an activity early, ask if they need any support instead of assuming they are unenthusiastic.

• A simple phrase like "If you need to rest, feel free to" or "I'm here to help if you need it" will provide much more encouragement than doubting their endurance.

• Understanding and patience are the foundation for effective chronic pain patient care, helping them find motivation to overcome the difficulties caused by prolonged pain.

Meaning 4: Recognizing signs of depression in people with chronic pain

Understand the link between chronic pain and depression

• Chronic pain lasting for months or years not only affects physical health but also increases the risk of depression and anxiety disorders.

• According to many studies, prolonged pain and depression have a bidirectional relationship:

  • Chronic pain can increase the risk of depression because patients endure constant pain, sleep deprivation, and reduced quality of life.

  • Conversely, depression can make the brain process pain signals more intensely, causing patients to perceive pain as more severe.

• Understanding this connection will help you provide more comprehensive chronic pain patient care, focusing not only on the pain but also on mental health.

Don't assume less emotional expression means less pain

• Some people with chronic pain who are depressed tend to:

  • Talk less.

  • Withdraw and limit communication.

  • Complain less about the pain.

  • Have fewer facial expressions or appear indifferent.

• This does not mean the pain has decreased. On the contrary, they may be losing the energy to express emotions or share what they are going through.

Depression can also lead to stronger emotional expression

• Not everyone with depression becomes silent. Some may express emotions more openly, such as:

  • Being easily tearful or emotional.

  • Anxiety, restlessness.

  • Irritability or anger.

  • Sadness, loneliness, or feeling hopeless.

  • Worrying about the future.

  • Easily frustrated or impatient.

  • Talking more than usual to release emotions or due to medication effects or lack of sleep.

• These manifestations can change from day to day, hour to hour, or even moment to moment, similar to the intensity of chronic pain.

Do not abandon patients when they need companionship

• One of the most hurtful things for people with chronic pain is the feeling of isolation or being shunned by others due to prolonged illness.

• Loss of care from family, friends, or loved ones can increase feelings of loneliness, reduce motivation for treatment, and worsen symptoms of depression.

• In caring for chronic pain patients, sometimes a presence, a short conversation, or sincere encouragement is as valuable as other support measures.

Accompany through care and listening

• Regularly check in with the patient using open-ended questions such as:

  • "How are you feeling today?"

  • "Is there anything I can help with?"

  • "Would you like to rest or do you need someone to talk to?"

• At the same time, encourage the patient to seek a doctor or psychologist if they have persistent signs such as sadness, loss of interest in life, sleep disturbances, or feelings of hopelessness. Early treatment of both chronic pain and mental health issues will contribute to improving quality of life and enhancing the effectiveness of chronic pain patient care.

Meaning 5: Respect the patient's physical limitations

Understand that chronic pain doesn't always have external signs

• Many conditions like fractures, high fever, or paralysis often have easily recognizable symptoms. In contrast, chronic pain is often an "invisible illness" because the patient may not show any obvious signs on their face or gait.

• Therefore, don't judge their condition based solely on their appearance. Someone who looks healthy can still be suffering from severe pain.

The patient's condition can change daily

• People with chronic pain often don't know exactly how they will feel when they wake up that day.

• Some days they are strong enough to work, move around, or participate in normal activities. But there are also days when the pain flares up, causing all plans to change.

• This fluctuation is not inconsistency or an excuse, but a common characteristic of many conditions causing chronic pain.

Don't assume yesterday's ability will be the same today

• If the patient can stand for 10 minutes today, it doesn't mean they can stand for 30 minutes or 1 hour.

• Similarly, the fact that they could walk or work yesterday doesn't guarantee they will be strong enough to do so again the next day.

• In caring for chronic patients, be flexible and adjust expectations instead of requiring them to always maintain the same level of activity.

Chronic pain affects more than just mobility

• In addition to limiting walking or prolonged standing, chronic pain can also reduce:

  • The ability to sit for long periods.

  • The ability to walk or climb stairs.

  • The ability to concentrate on studying and working.

  • The ability to communicate or participate in social activities.

  • Energy levels throughout the day.

• These effects can cause patients to change their daily habits or reduce activities that were previously very normal.

Respect the need for rest and medication

• If the patient says they need to:

  • Sit down immediately.

  • Lie down and rest.

  • Stay in bed.

  • Take medication at the right time.

• Understand that these are often necessary needs to manage chronic pain, not laziness or lack of cooperation.

• Many pain relievers or chronic illness medications need to be taken on time to achieve optimal effectiveness. Delaying them can make the pain more severe or difficult to control.

Accompany them with flexibility and empathy

• Instead of pressuring the patient to try harder, actively adjust plans when necessary and create conditions for them to rest.

• Small actions like preparing a seat, shortening travel time, or accepting schedule changes can significantly reduce physical and mental stress for the patient.

• Respecting their limitations is an important part of caring for chronic patients, helping them feel understood and giving them more motivation to adapt to life with chronic pain.

Meaning 6: Recognize the signs that the patient is in pain

Observe changes in behavior and emotions

• Not all people with chronic pain vocalize when the pain becomes more severe. Many try to endure in silence, so observing changes in behavior can help you recognize when they need support.

• Some common signs include:

  • Frowning or furrowing brows.

  • Restlessness, difficulty sitting still.

  • Irritability or discomfort.

  • Frequent mood swings.

  • Constantly rubbing, massaging, or clenching the painful area.

  • Sighing, moaning softly, or making sounds due to pain.

Pay attention to changes in daily life

• Chronic pain not only causes physical pain but also affects many daily activities. Patients may:

  • Have difficulty sleeping or poor sleep quality.

  • Grind their teeth, especially during sleep.

  • Have difficulty concentrating on studying or working.

  • Reduce activity or participate less in favorite activities.

  • Get tired quickly and need more rest.

• These changes often appear gradually over time and can reflect how pain is affecting their quality of life.

Care about the patient's mental health

• Prolonged chronic pain can make patients feel exhausted, hopeless, or depressed, especially when treatment has not yielded the desired results.

• If you notice them frequently expressing feelings of despair, pessimism, or writing/talking about no longer wanting to continue living, consider this a sign that needs serious attention.

• In this case, gently encourage the patient to talk to a doctor or mental health professional as soon as possible. Timely support can help improve both mental health and the ability to manage chronic pain.

Don't just look at a single sign

• Each person expresses pain differently. Some show almost no change in facial expression, while others easily show their emotions.

• Therefore, evaluate based on the change compared to their normal state, rather than relying on a single symptom.

• In caring for chronic patients, subtle observation combined with listening will help you better understand the patient's condition and support them more effectively.

Show empathy instead of judgment

• When you notice signs that the patient is in more pain, ask with a gentle and respectful attitude, such as: "Is the pain worse today?" or "Do you need any help?".

• Genuine care will help the patient feel heard, reduce feelings of loneliness, and create a foundation for effective and sustainable chronic patient care.

Meaning 7: Believe that chronic pain is a real condition

Don't assume the patient is exaggerating the pain

• Chronic pain is a recognized medical condition that can last for 3 months or more and severely impact health, work capacity, and quality of life.

• Even if many cases show no clear signs of injury externally or test results don't fully explain the symptoms, it doesn't mean the pain is imaginary or exaggerated.

• In caring for chronic patients, the first and most important thing is to believe that their pain is real.

Understand why patients frequently seek medical attention

• Many people mistakenly believe that people with chronic pain constantly visit the doctor because they want attention or are overly worried about their health.

• In reality, they often seek doctors with the desire to:

  • Identify the cause of the pain.

  • Find more effective treatment methods.

  • Control symptoms to be able to study, work, and live normally.

  • Improve their quality of life.

• When the cause is not yet clearly identified, continued medical examinations and monitoring are a necessary part of the diagnostic and treatment process.

The cause may not always be found immediately

• Some cases of chronic pain can have a clear cause, such as arthritis, nerve damage, or spinal conditions.

• However, there are also individuals who, despite undergoing many tests, still haven't found the exact source of their pain.

• This does not negate the existence of the pain but reflects the complexity of the nervous system and the mechanisms of pain processing in the body.

Patients do not choose to live with pain

• No one wants to endure chronic pain every day or have to change their job, lifestyle, and relationships because of illness.

• Most patients hope to control their pain to return to a normal life as before.

• Therefore, instead of doubting or judging, give them respect and understanding. This is an important foundation in caring for chronic patients, helping them feel heard and giving them more motivation to cooperate with treatment.

Show trust and support

• Statements like "I believe you are in a lot of pain" or "I understand this is not easy" can provide significant emotional value.

• When patients feel validated and don't have to constantly prove their pain, they will be more open to sharing their health status and cooperating with treatment.

• Genuine empathy does not make the pain disappear, but it can make the journey of living with chronic pain easier and enhance the effectiveness of chronic patient care.

Meaning 8: Understand that you cannot feel the patient's pain for them

Accept that everyone experiences pain differently

• Chronic pain is a very personal experience, simultaneously influenced by bodily injury, nervous system activity, emotions, and psychology.

• Therefore, even if two people have the same illness, the level of pain and how they endure it can be completely different.

• In caring for chronic patients, it is important to respect each person's feelings instead of comparing them to others.

Don't assume you fully understand their pain

• You may have experienced severe pain and can empathize with the patient, but that doesn't mean you know exactly how they are feeling.

• Avoid statements like:

  • "I know exactly how you feel."

  • "Everyone with this illness is the same."

  • "I've been in pain too, so I understand everything."

• While well-intentioned, these words can make the patient feel that their experience is being oversimplified or not fully heard.

Listen more than you assume

• Instead of guessing, encourage the patient to share how they feel if they are willing.

• You can ask:

  • "How is the pain affecting you today?"

  • "What makes you most uncomfortable right now?"

  • "What can I do to make you feel more comfortable?"

• Open-ended questions help patients express their experiences without feeling judged.

Respect each person's unique experience

• Some describe chronic pain as a persistent dull ache, while others feel sharp, burning, or electric shock-like pain.

• Pain can also change over time, with stress levels, weather, sleep, or daily activities.

• Therefore, do not judge the severity of pain based on personal experience or the patient's external manifestations.

Accompany them with humility and empathy

• You don't need to understand the pain exactly to support the patient effectively.

• What they often need most is someone willing to listen, trust, and respect their experience.

• In caring for chronic patients, empathy is not about asserting "I know how you feel," but about acknowledging that: "I cannot feel it for you, but I believe what you are going through and am always here to support you." This helps patients feel understood and gives them more motivation to overcome the journey of living with chronic pain.

Meaning 9: Understand that chronic pain is a very complex condition

Chronic pain is more than just prolonged pain

• Chronic pain is not merely pain that lasts longer than usual. Studies show that this condition can change how the nervous system and brain receive, process, and transmit pain signals.

• When pain persists, the body can enter a state of neurological sensitization, causing the nervous system to react more strongly to stimuli that would not normally cause pain or only cause mild discomfort in healthy individuals.

• This is why caring for chronic patients needs to be viewed as a long-term and comprehensive process, rather than just focusing on pain symptoms.

Even minor stimuli can cause severe pain

• Because the nervous system becomes more sensitive, people with chronic pain can feel pain when:

  • Lightly touching the affected body area.

  • Wearing tight clothing or carrying a backpack.

  • Sitting or standing for too long.

  • Changes in weather or temperature.

  • Performing very gentle activities.

• These situations may not cause pain for others, but they produce noticeable pain in the patient.

Not understanding doesn't mean the pain doesn't exist

• You may find it difficult to imagine because you have never experienced chronic pain or witnessed the changes the patient is facing.

• However, not being able to feel or explain the pain does not mean that the patient is exaggerating or imagining symptoms.

• In caring for chronic patients, it is important to respect what the patient shares instead of judging based on personal experience.

Do not compare pain between individuals

• Statements like:

  • "It was just a light touch."

  • "This doesn't hurt at all."

  • "Others can do it."

• Can make patients feel invalidated or misunderstood.

• Remember that the pain threshold and how the nervous system reacts vary from person to person, especially when they are living with chronic pain.

Accompany them with understanding and respect

• Instead of trying to assess the level of pain based on your own perception, trust what the patient is experiencing and adjust your support to their capabilities.

• A listening, patient, and non-judgmental attitude will help the patient feel more secure during treatment.

This is also one of the important principles of chronic patient care, contributing to improving their quality of life and helping them cope with chronic pain with a more positive mindset.

Part 2: How to support people with chronic pain

Tip 1: Practice empathy with people suffering from chronic pain

Put yourself in the patient's shoes

• Empathy doesn't mean you have to experience chronic pain to understand. The important thing is to try to see life from the patient's perspective to understand what they are feeling, what they are thinking, and why they are reacting the way they are.

• When you understand their circumstances, you will know how to listen, support, and communicate more appropriately instead of rushing to give advice when not asked.

• This is an important skill in chronic patient care, helping patients feel respected and safe when sharing.

Look at commonalities instead of just seeing the illness

• People with chronic pain may face many limitations, but they still have desires like anyone else.

• They still want to:

  • Work and contribute.

  • Care for their families.

  • Meet friends.

  • Pursue personal interests.

  • Live independently and be respected.

• Don't let the illness be the only thing you see in them. In chronic patient care, treat them as a whole person, not just a "patient."

Understand the feeling of loss of control that patients face

• Many people living with chronic pain share that they feel "stuck" in their own bodies.

• Prolonged pain can make them:

  • Unable to do the things they once loved.

  • Have to give up many plans or goals.

  • Lose a sense of agency in life.

  • Easily fall into a state of helplessness, sadness, or depression.

• Understanding these emotions will help you avoid unrealistic words of encouragement such as "Just try harder" or "Think positively and the pain will go away."

Appreciate what you have

• Take a moment to think about the things you can do every day, such as walking, working, playing sports, hugging loved ones, or sleeping soundly without being interrupted by pain.

• Then, try to imagine if those seemingly very normal activities became difficult or impossible to perform due to chronic pain.

• This way of thinking is not meant to create a feeling of pity, but to help you better understand the challenges patients face every day.

Accompany through practical actions

• Empathy is not only expressed through words but also through your actions.

• You can:

  • Patiently listen when the patient wants to share.

  • Respect their decision to rest or change plans.

  • Actively ask what they need support with instead of making assumptions.

  • Encourage without creating pressure to be "strong" or "overcome it immediately."

Small but sincere actions will help patients feel understood and reduce feelings of loneliness. This is also the foundation of effective chronic patient care, helping patients adapt better to life with chronic pain.

Tip 2: Respect the efforts of people suffering from chronic pain

Understand that the patient is always trying their best

• People with chronic pain often have to expend a lot of energy to complete seemingly very simple tasks.

• Despite enduring prolonged pain, they still try to:

  • Go to school or work.

  • Care for their families.

  • Maintain relationships.

  • Participate in daily activities when their health allows.

In chronic patient care, acknowledging these efforts will help patients feel respected and gain more motivation.

Don't let appearances mislead you

• Many people with chronic pain still smile, chat happily, or act normally even when in great pain.

• That doesn't mean the pain is gone. They may just be trying to stay positive or don't want others to worry.

• Therefore, don't judge their health condition solely based on their facial expressions or outward demeanor.

Every day is a new effort

• Patients often have to constantly adjust their plans to adapt to fluctuating pain levels day by day.

• There are times when they try to complete tasks even though their body is very tired, but there are also times when they are forced to stop to rest or seek treatment.

• Instead of thinking they lack perseverance, understand that they are trying to live their best within the limits that chronic pain allows.

Trust when the patient says they are in pain

• If the patient says the pain is increasing, trust what they share.

• Avoid phrases like:

  • "You look fine."

  • "Is it really that painful?"

  • "You're probably just a little tired."

• These words can make the patient feel their pain is being dismissed and make them hesitant to share in the future.

Accompany through recognition and encouragement

• A simple phrase like "I know you've tried very hard" or "If you need to rest, please do" can provide a lot of encouragement.

• In chronic patient care, trust, respect, and recognition of the patient's efforts do not make the pain disappear, but they help them feel supported and gain strength to continue adapting to life with chronic pain.

Tip 3: Listen so the patient feels understood

Actively listen with focus

• One of the most effective ways to support people with chronic pain is to take the time to listen to them.

• When talking, make sure to:

  • Focus on what the patient is sharing.

  • Do not interrupt or rush to offer solutions.

  • Try to understand their true feelings, difficulties, and needs.

In chronic patient care, listening not only helps you understand the patient's condition but also makes them feel respected and supported.

Let the patient know you are willing to listen

• Many people living with chronic pain are afraid to share because they have been doubted, dismissed, or told they are complaining too much.

• Actively show that you genuinely want to listen with phrases like:

  • "I'm here to listen if you want to share."

  • "Go ahead and talk, I'll listen."

  • "I want to understand what you're going through."

This openness helps patients feel safer when expressing their emotions.

Observe what the patient doesn't say

• Not everyone with chronic pain expresses their feelings fully through words.

• Pay attention to:

  • A voice that becomes soft or tired.

  • A tense face or an attempt to hide pain.

  • Slow movements or frequent changes in posture.

  • Unusual silence or hesitation when answering.

Body language and tone of voice sometimes reflect the patient's condition more clearly than words.

Share genuinely to build trust

• Empathy is a two-way process. When appropriate, you can also share your own feelings or experiences to make the conversation feel more intimate for the patient.

• However, keep the focus on the patient instead of shifting the conversation to yourself.

• The goal is to create an open conversational space where the patient feels heard, not compared or judged.

Listen to understand, not to debate

• In the process of chronic patient care, avoid listening while simultaneously preparing an answer or trying to prove you are right.

• Instead, listen with the desire to understand what the patient needs, such as encouragement, a companion, or simply someone to sit beside them.

When patients feel heard and trusted, they will be more open to sharing their difficulties, thereby making chronic patient care more effective and humane.

Tip 4: Be patient with people suffering from chronic pain

Understand that the patient is not deliberately slow or procrastinating

• People with chronic pain often very much want to get things done, keep promises, and maintain a normal life as before.

• However, prolonged pain can significantly reduce their strength, concentration, and endurance, making it impossible for them to do everything according to plan.

In chronic patient care, patience will help the patient feel less pressure and gain more motivation to try within their capabilities.

Don't add to the patient's guilt

• Avoid pushing or saying things like:

  • "Just try a little harder."

  • "Don't think about the pain anymore."

  • "Why don't you try harder?"

• These words can make the patient feel guilty for not meeting others' expectations, even though they have tried their best.

• Instead, ask what support they need or if the plan can be adjusted to suit their current health condition.

Be understanding when the patient is easily sensitive or irritable

• Chronic pain not only causes physical pain but also affects sleep, mood, and emotional control.

• Some days the patient may be:

  • More irritable than usual.

  • Impatient.

  • Tired or quiet.

  • Overreacting to small situations.

These manifestations often reflect exhaustion due to prolonged pain, rather than a deliberate attempt to be rude.

Accept that plans may change at the last minute

• People with chronic pain are sometimes forced to cancel appointments, decline invitations, or stop an activity just before it starts because the pain suddenly becomes more severe.

• This is often unintentional and does not reflect a lack of respect or responsibility.

• In chronic patient care, be flexible and willing to adjust plans when needed, rather than blaming or putting pressure on them.

Accompany through patience and understanding

• If the patient needs more rest or cannot participate as planned, let them know that you understand and are willing to support them when they are able.

• Phrases like "It's okay, I'll reschedule when you feel better" or "Please prioritize your health first" will help patients feel respected and less worried.

Patience does not make chronic pain disappear, but it is an important part of chronic patient care, helping patients maintain confidence and feel supported by those around them.

Tip 5: Proactively support people suffering from chronic pain

Help with daily tasks when the patient needs it

• People with chronic pain may have difficulty with seemingly simple activities, especially on days when the pain flares up.

• Depending on their health condition, they may need help with:

  • Bathing or personal hygiene.

  • Changing clothes.

  • Preparing meals.

  • Cleaning the house.

  • Buying medicine or food.

  • Transportation to the hospital or follow-up appointments.

In chronic patient care, these practical helps can help patients conserve energy and reduce the burden of daily living.

Help patients stay connected to life

• Chronic pain can cause patients to limit going out, miss work, or reduce social activities.

• If possible, help them:

  • Stay in touch with friends and family.

  • Participate in activities appropriate for their health.

  • Go out when their condition allows.

  • Continue pursuing hobbies they love.

Maintaining relationships and a sense of belonging will contribute to improving mental health and quality of life.

Only promise when you can genuinely help

• Many people are willing to say "Call me if you need anything," but when the patient needs help, they can't be there.

• For people with chronic pain, this can make them hesitant to ask for help or feel disappointed.

• If you proactively offer support, consider your capabilities and only promise what you can deliver.

Keep your commitments to build trust

• Once you've committed to helping, try to follow through as promised or notify them early if there's a change.

• The patient may have relied on your support to plan doctor's visits, medication purchases, or important tasks.

• Reliability helps them feel more at ease and reduces stress during chronic patient care.

Ask the patient what they need instead of deciding for yourself

• People with chronic pain don't always need the same type of support.

• Instead of guessing, ask questions like:

  Benjamin Lewis Family general practitioner

  Graduated from Yale School of Medicine, with 10 years of experience in internal medicine and routine health consultation. Currently working at NewYork-Presbyterian Hospital, specializing in developing personalized treatment plans for each patient.