Post-operative care: 3 tips to help you get through the post-operative period.

Surgery is not an easy experience—both physically and mentally. After surgery, patients often feel tired, in pain, and sometimes discouraged. If you have a friend or relative who has just undergone surgery, you're probably wondering what to do or say to help them feel better.

This article will share effective ways to care for, support, and accompany your loved ones so they can recover quickly, feel loved, and more secure in the post-surgical period . With a little thoughtfulness, patience, and empathy, you can become a great source of motivation for them during their recovery.

Tip 1: Things to keep in mind when visiting a relative in the hospital.

Note 1: How to care for a friend after surgery: Simple and effective guidelines

• Prepare before your visit: Unlike normal people, those who have just had surgery need time to rest both physically and mentally. Plan ahead so the visit doesn't stress them out.

• Find out about visiting hours and hospital regulations: Each hospital and department has its own rules. For example, in the intensive care unit, usually only one visitor is allowed with the consent and supervision of a nurse, along with requirements regarding personal hygiene. Call ahead to find out the visiting hours and any restrictions you need to follow.

• Consult with family or relatives: Before visiting, ask the patient's relatives about a suitable time. This will help you understand their health status, any tests they've had done, and whether they are available to receive visitors.

• Adjust your visit duration appropriately: A visit of about 20–30 minutes is usually sufficient. If you notice the other person is tired or unwilling to talk, leave early. Conversely, if they are cheerful and want to chat, you can stay a little longer.

• Pay attention to their mental and emotional well-being: Always respect the patient's recovery pace and emotions. Empathy, gentleness, and patience are the best ways to support them after surgery.

Note 2: Be polite and hygienic when visiting friends after surgery.

• Avoid strong scents: Do not use perfumes, shaving creams, or lotions with strong fragrances. People who have just had surgery are often sensitive to smells, and many hospitals now have a fragrance-free policy.

• Hand and clothing hygiene: Wash your hands with soap and water, antiseptic solution, or hand sanitizer gel when entering and leaving the patient room. Ask the nurse before entering the room as you may need to wear a gown, gloves, or mask.

• Avoid contact when sick: If you have a cold, flu, or other contagious illness, ask the nurse before visiting. These are usually not permitted in the patient's room.

• Adhere to smoking and pet regulations: Only smoke in designated areas and avoid spreading smoke to patients. Do not bring pets (except service animals) into the hospital due to the risk of infection.

• Polite behavior: Do not swear or behave inappropriately, as this may result in a warning, fine, or being barred from visiting.

• Avoid direct contact with patients:

  • Do not climb onto the bed, put your feet on the bed, or touch the surgical wound or medical equipment.

  • Do not use the patient's restroom to avoid spreading bacteria.

  • Do not share personal items such as towels, tissues, toothbrushes, or toothpaste.

• Always remember the goal: The purpose of the visit is to provide emotional support, not to cause discomfort or increase the risk of infection for the patient.

Note 3: Choose meaningful gifts when visiting friends after surgery.

• Bringing small gifts shows care: Patients often feel happy when they receive gifts, even if the monetary value isn't important; what matters is that you care about them.

• Avoid fresh flowers: Flowers take up space in the room, wilt quickly, and are difficult to transport. They are not an ideal choice for hospitalized patients.

• Choose gifts for entertainment: Patients often feel bored while in the hospital. You could give books, magazines, crossword puzzles, sudoku, or a diary. If they have electronic devices like an iPad or tablet, you could give them iTunes or Amazon subscriptions so they can choose their own entertainment content.

• Food and drink suggestions: If the hospital allows it, you can bring the patient's favorite snack. However, after surgery, they may not want to eat due to medication or a special diet, for example, after bowel surgery.

• The principle is: Gifts should be simple, practical, and easy to use , aiming to bring joy and emotional support to the patient, without causing further inconvenience.

Note 4: Transform your hospital room into a welcoming space for friends after surgery.

• Decorate in a light and cheerful way: Hospital rooms are often monotonous, with beige or white colors that can easily make patients feel down. You can bring wall art, colorful pillows or blankets, or small decorative items. Always ask the nurse beforehand to ensure you comply with hospital regulations.

• Bring familiar things: Familiarity helps patients feel more at ease. You could make a scrapbook with photos of family, friends, and pets; create a playlist of their favorite music; or bring DVDs of movies or TV shows they like, if the room has a TV.

• Natural communication and sharing of news: During visits, chat about mutual friends, news, and entertainment. This helps them feel like they are still part of normal life even while hospitalized.

• Principle: The goal is to create a comfortable environment, reduce mental stress , and make the post-surgical recovery process more pleasant.

Note 5: Organize group visits to provide emotional support after surgery.

• Plan a group visit: If the patient feels well enough, you can invite a group of friends to visit together.

• It creates a comfortable atmosphere: Group visits often create a more natural and cheerful atmosphere compared to individual visits. Patients will be happy to see that many people care and take the time to visit them.

• Comply with hospital regulations: Before organizing the event, check the hospital's policy regarding the number of people allowed in the room at the same time to avoid violations.

• Principle: The goal is to boost morale and create a positive atmosphere , without causing fatigue or stress to the patient.

Note 6: Plan for the future to boost your recovery motivation.

• Create something to look forward to: Schedule a date to see a movie, go out for a meal, have coffee, or go shopping after being discharged from the hospital. Having small plans helps patients feel cared for and gives them something to look forward to.

• Support for returning home: Helping transport patients home from the hospital, running errands, or assisting with daily needs during their recovery.

• Principle: The goal is to increase peace of mind and motivation , making the recovery process smoother and more comfortable.

Tip 2: Helping you recover effectively after surgery at home.

Option 1: Provide meal support for friends after surgery.

• Help with grocery shopping: If possible, help the patient go to the market or supermarket. While shopping, ask what they need so you can buy together, avoiding waste or forgetting what they need.

• Bringing ready-made meals: If the patient doesn't want someone else to go grocery shopping, you can cook and bring meals. Choose dishes that are easy to reheat and store for a long time, such as soups, stews, lasagna, grilled dishes, or salads.

• Dietary considerations: Carefully inquire about dietary restrictions after surgery. Certain foods may be prohibited, or the patient may have had a special diet beforehand (vegetarian, gluten-free, etc.). Always ensure the food is appropriate so as not to affect the recovery process.

• Principle: The goal is to help patients eat nutritiously, conveniently, and safely , reducing the burden during their recovery period.

Option 2: Help your friends with household chores after surgery.

• Make a specific offer: Instead of saying "Call me if you need anything," be proactive: "I'm free this afternoon, would you like me to help with anything?" Patients are often hesitant to bother others.

• Housework: Laundry, dishwashing, sweeping, dusting… These tasks become difficult after surgery, and any help will be appreciated.

• Pet care: If the patient owns a pet, you can clean the litter box, take the dog for walks, and ensure it is fed and watered properly.

• Childcare support: If they are single parents or busy spouses, helping with childcare while they recover can be invaluable.

• Principle: The goal is to reduce the burden on daily life , helping patients focus on rest and recover more quickly.

Option 3: Bring joy and entertainment to your friends after surgery.

• Positive conversation: Take time to share everyday stories, keeping the conversation cheerful and optimistic. Avoid mentioning stressful issues like unemployment or personal arguments.

• Watch favorite movies or shows: Ask the patient beforehand what they would like to watch, then bring a DVD or rent one online to enjoy together.

• Playing games: Board games, card games, or group games are great ways to relieve boredom. If possible, invite a few friends to join in to create a fun atmosphere.

• Avoid alcohol: Many post-surgical medications prohibit alcohol consumption. Always respect this and refrain from drinking unless the patient is able to.

• Principle: The goal is to create healthy entertainment, boost morale, and reduce stress , making the recovery process more pleasant.

Option 4: Support for post-operative check-ups and follow-up appointments.

• Accompanying you to appointments: After surgery, patients often have many follow-up appointments. You can drive them to the doctor's, as medication or fatigue may prevent them from driving themselves, and using public transport is inconvenient.

• Entertainment while waiting: Bring a book, newspaper, crossword puzzle, card game, or engage in lighthearted conversation to relieve stress in the waiting room.

• Create something to look forward to after the appointment: Schedule a snack, a milkshake, or do something fun after the examination to make the trip more enjoyable.

• Principle: The goal is to reduce stress, increase peace of mind, and provide emotional support , helping patients feel cared for and more comfortable during their recovery.

Tip 3: How to have conversations that help you recover mentally after surgery.

Step 1: Consider the level of intimacy required for post-surgery conversations.

• Assess the level of closeness: The level of closeness determines how you communicate. With very close friends, you can ask direct questions, share feelings, and talk openly.

• For less close relationships: Maintain a natural, warm demeanor, but avoid saying things that might upset either of you.

• Keep the conversation light: Ask simple questions like "How are you feeling today?" or "Do you need any help?" to create a comfortable atmosphere and avoid putting pressure on yourself.

• Principle: The goal is to respect the patient's feelings and maintain positive communication , helping them feel cared for without being embarrassed.

Step 2: Allow your friends to express their emotions after surgery.

• Listen instead of urging: Patients recovering from surgery may not feel well, and they need to be listened to more than constant encouragement or motivation. Be patient and empathetic to what they are going through.

• Avoid saying "I understand" or "I know how you feel": You're only experiencing it indirectly, and it's difficult to fully understand their feelings. Instead, say: "I can understand how you feel, could you tell me more about it?"

• Avoid saying things like, "You shouldn't feel that way," or "Cheer up": These phrases can easily make the patient feel judged. Instead, say, "I'm sorry you're feeling that way. Could you tell me more about why?"

• Principle: The goal is to create a safe space for them to express their emotions , helping patients feel understood and free from mental stress during their recovery.

Step 3: Actively listen to support your friend after surgery.

• Focus completely: When conversing, maintain eye contact, pay attention to body language, and avoid distractions from your surroundings.

• Show your attention: Nod, smile, maintain an open posture, and encourage them to continue with phrases like "Yeah," or "I understand."

• Responding and clarifying: Repeat or summarize what they said to ensure correct understanding, for example: "So you're saying..." or "I heard you say...". Ask further questions when needed, such as: "What did you mean by...?" or "Did you mean...?"

• Avoid judgment: Don't interrupt; wait until they've finished speaking before asking questions or sharing your opinion. Avoid arguing or dismissing their feelings.

• Appropriate responses: Be honest and respectful when answering, expressing your point of view without diminishing the patient's emotional well-being or anxiety.

• Principle: The goal is to help patients feel heard, understood, and reassured , creating a positive mental foundation for recovery.

Step 4: Ask the right questions when talking to friends after surgery.

• Focus on the patient: Only talk about yourself when they ask; the goal is to care for and support them, not to tell your own story.

• Avoid asking about medical details: Don't ask about test results or specific health conditions unless they proactively share them, as many people find it tiring to talk about health constantly.

• Ask about their current feelings: General questions like "How are you feeling today?" help them decide whether they want to share about their health or keep the conversation light.

• Ask if they need any help: Patients are often hesitant to ask for help, so proactively offer to assist them with daily tasks or small chores.

• Show interest in family and loved ones: Ask about family members, pets, or things they care about to demonstrate genuine concern and maintain social connections.

• Principle: The goal is to create a comfortable, respectful, and supportive conversation , helping patients feel cared for and more secure during their recovery.

Step 5: Understand your friend's post-surgical worries and anxieties.

• Empathy is key: To be an effective support friend, understand the fears associated with surgery, and then empathize and listen better.

• Loss of control: One of the biggest anxieties is the feeling of losing control of one's body and health. Remind your friends that this is a normal feeling and they are not alone.

• Expectations about outcomes: Surgery is often aimed at improving health or curing long-term illnesses. When the recovery process is slow or lengthy, patients can easily become discouraged. Remind them that all progress takes time.

• Life-threatening fears: Going to the hospital and being anesthetized can evoke fears about one's life. Be prepared to hear them share these deep-seated anxieties.

• Principle: The goal is to understand and empathize with deep-seated emotions, helping patients feel secure and supported , and reducing anxiety during the recovery process.

Step 6: Support your friends in overcoming anxiety after surgery and hospitalization.

• Understanding hospital anxiety: Most people feel anxious when they have to go to the hospital, even the calmest individuals. Knowing how to cope will help you guide and support your friends more effectively.

• Believe in yourself: Anxiety often stems from a lack of self-confidence. Remind your friends to believe in their bodies and their ability to recover.

• Positive action: Encourage them to participate in activities that reduce anxiety and are good for their health: healthy eating, exercise, meditation, going outdoors, meeting friends, and pursuing hobbies.

• Detailed planning: Helps patients focus on recovery instead of worrying. Post-surgery planning includes: a list of necessary items (food, books, toiletries), light activities they can do after recovery, or activities to reduce stress.

• Principle: The goal is to help patients manage anxiety, increase self-confidence and positive energy , thereby facilitating a smoother recovery process.

Supporting friends after surgery: How to be there for them and reduce loneliness.

• Take short walks whenever possible: When health permits, invite them for a stroll around the neighborhood to reduce feelings of confinement and isolation.

• Communicate more directly than online: Instead of just sending messages or comments on social media, take the time to call or visit in person, as they may not be able to check email or social media.

• Maintain a moderately positive attitude: Always be supportive and caring, but don't overwhelm them with your positive energy. Let them express their feelings, and listen and empathize.

• Support for follow-up appointments: Taking them to doctor's appointments, helping to reduce mental stress, and providing physical support during the recovery process.

• Make your presence known: Clearly tell your friends that you will always be there, creating a sense of security and trust during your recovery.

• Listen and empathize: If they want to share, listen patiently. Empathy helps them feel relieved and less anxious.

• Avoid comparing experiences: Refrain from turning your story into a competition or comparison; let them share what they want without judgment.

• Principle: The goal is to reduce loneliness, increase feelings of safety and provide emotional support , helping the recovery process to be comfortable and sustainable.

References

1. http://www.mannersmentor.com/personal-polish/want-to-be-a-great-friend-when-someone-is-ill
2. https://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/book-and-product-reviews/product-reviews/health-related/10-tips-for-visiting-someone-who-is-sick/
3. http://grammar.yourdictionary.com/style-and-usage/comforting-words-before-surgery.html
4. http://www.mindtools.com/CommSkll/ActiveListening.htm
5. http://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/anxiety-schmanxiety/2013/04/hospital-anxiety-surgery-fear-and-medicine-worry/

Translated by Leigh Kennedy Ly .