Change your perspective, change your life: 3 secrets to living a happy life

According to many mental health surveys, more than 60% of adults feel dissatisfied with their current lives, even though they are still working and living normally every day. This shows that many people are silently seeking ways to change their lives: to live more positively, with a lighter heart, and with clearer direction for the future.

The good news is that it's never too late to change. No matter your age, whether you're stuck or simply want to live better than yesterday, small changes from thought to action can make a big difference. This article will help you understand how to change your life from within and without, in an easily applicable, practical, and suitable way for the current pace of life in Vietnam.

Tip 1: How to change your living circumstances for the better

Step 1: Change daily habits to improve life

Understand the true role of habits

• Your current life is a direct result of what you repeat every day: what you eat, where you work, how you live.

• If you want to find ways to change your life, you cannot overlook adjusting your daily habits, no matter how small.

Start with a small change

• You don't need to change everything at once; this can easily lead to overwhelm and giving up.

• Choose one single habit to adjust first, for example, your sleep schedule, breakfast, or exercise time.

• According to behavioral research, it takes an average of about 66 days for a new habit to become natural and sustainable.

Create novelty to avoid boredom

• Even very small changes in your routine can help you feel more excited about life:

  • Take a different route to work or school.

  • Try a new dish for breakfast.

  • Exercise at a different time of day.

  • Visit a different coffee shop instead of your usual one.

• This diversity helps you stay motivated when applying methods to change your life in a positive way.

Periodically evaluate your habits

• Frequently ask yourself: Is what I'm doing (or not doing) helping me get closer to my desired life goals?

• Apply this question to:

  • Diet.

  • Exercise habits.

  • How you spend most of your time each day.

• If the answer is no, that's a clear signal that you need to adjust immediately, even if it's just a small step.

Step 2: Re-evaluate life's direction according to personal values

Assess the path you are on

• Whether you're studying, working, job-hunting, volunteering, or traveling, stop and take a holistic look at your current life.

• Ask yourself: Does this life truly align with my values?

• This is a crucial step in how to change your life with direction, rather than changing based on fleeting emotions.

Identify passions, interests, and goals

• Big questions like "What am I passionate about?" or "What are my long-term goals?" can take years to answer fully.

• You can start simpler by asking yourself:

  • What do I want to leave behind in this life?

  • How will others remember me?

• This question is not just about career but also applies to relationships and how you treat others.

Compare lifestyle with personal values

• In reality, many people are not living entirely true to what they believe is important.

• Consider each aspect:

  • Does your current job help you get closer to your goals?

  • Does where you live suit your desired lifestyle?

  • Does how you spend your time and money reflect your true priorities?

• Recognizing this misalignment is a foundational step to applying sustainable ways to change your life.

Identify necessary changes

• Depending on the circumstances, you might consider:

  • Adjusting or changing career direction.

  • Changing majors or acquiring new skills.

  • Changing living environment.

  • Re-managing time and finances according to long-term goals.

• You don't need to change everything at once, but every decision should serve your core values.

Step 3: Improve relationships to live happier

Understand the true role of relationships

• No matter how much money you earn or what achievements you gain, life is still incomplete without loved ones to share it with.

• In many cases, the quality of relationships affects happiness even more than personal success.

• This is a core element in how to change your life in a sustainable and long-term way.

Nurture existing relationships

• Spend quality time with family, friends, and your partner, not just meeting for the sake of it.

• Show care by listening, understanding, and empathizing, rather than just reacting emotionally.

• If relationships are strained or neglected:

  • Initiate conversations to mend them.

  • Be willing to compromise when necessary.

  • Be brave enough to admit your own mistakes when you've hurt others.

• These actions may not be easy, but they are crucial steps to improving life from within.

Build meaningful new relationships

• If you're feeling lonely, don't just wait for others to initiate.

• Create opportunities for yourself by:

  • Participating in social activities, classes, communities, or groups with shared interests.

  • Initiating conversations, asking questions, and truly listening.

  • Maintaining an open, friendly, and sincere attitude in communication.

• When you actively connect, the chances of forming quality relationships increase significantly.

Step 4: Step out of your comfort zone to change your life

Understand why you need to leave your comfort zone

• Many people get stuck in familiar routines because they fear change or failure.

• However, humans need novelty to feel more interested and happy.

• If you want to find ways to change your life, you need to get used to different experiences, from small to large.

Try something new every day

• You don't need grand decisions; start with simple things:

  • Go to an event you've never attended.

  • Talk to a new person.

  • Try an unusual dish or a new restaurant.

• These small experiences can open up unexpected opportunities, sometimes leading to new people or new directions that change your life.

Develop new hobbies or explore new places

• Try starting a hobby you've never pursued or revisiting an old one in a new way:

  • If you play sports, challenge yourself more.

  • If you play music, try a new style or genre.

  • When hiking or climbing, choose a different route to create a sense of discovery.

• Slightly stepping out of your familiar boundaries helps you feel more confident and maintain motivation for change.

Connect with people who share your interests

• Meeting people who share your interests makes it easier to maintain new habits.

• Join communities, clubs, or activity groups that align with your interests.

• When surrounded by positive and eager-to-learn people, the process of changing your life in a positive direction will become more natural.

Tip 2: Change your attitude to live more positively every day

Step 1: Live fully in the present to change your life

Why living in the present makes you happier

• When constantly thinking about the past or worrying about the future, you easily become stressed and lose energy.

• One of the most effective ways to change your life is to learn to return to the present moment, where you truly have control.

Deal with negative memories properly

• When an unpleasant memory arises, don't try to deny it:

  • Recognize the memory and the emotions it brings.

  • If you need to cry, write down your thoughts, or share them with a trusted friend, allow yourself to do so.

• After processing your emotions:

  • Remind yourself that what happened is in the past and cannot be changed.

  • When the memory returns, simply acknowledge it, be grateful that it's over, and gently let it go.

• This is an important step to improve mental well-being in a healthy way.

Rebalance your perspective on the past

• Many people tend to remember negative things very clearly but forget the positive.

• Actively:

  • Recall the positive moments you've experienced.

  • Write down a list of what you've accomplished, good relationships, and small joys.

• This helps your brain adjust emotions and supports changing your life in a positive direction.

Apply mind-anchoring techniques to the present

• When your mind is caught up in thoughts, use simple methods:

  • Observe your surroundings and find objects of the same color.

  • Breathe deeply, slowly, and evenly for a few minutes.

  • Focus on bodily sensations like your feet touching the ground or your breath flowing in and out.

• These techniques help you calm down quickly and return to the present moment.

Step 2: Cultivate a positive mindset for a happier life

Recognize the power of perspective

• The level of happiness doesn't solely depend on what you have, where you are, or who you're with, but on how you perceive your circumstances.

• In reality, some people with less money and fewer resources still feel content, while many wealthy individuals feel empty.

• This is a crucial foundation for changing your life from within, in a sustainable and long-lasting way.

Focus on the positive aspects of every situation

• Make it a habit to actively find the good in any situation, even when things don't go as planned.

• When you notice yourself complaining:

  • Stop and identify at least one or two positive things that exist simultaneously.

  • This helps your brain shift its attention, reducing negative feelings.

• Over time, a positive mindset will become a natural reflex, significantly helping to improve your quality of life.

Stop criticizing yourself and those around you

• Everyone has strengths and weaknesses; that's inevitable.

• If you constantly focus on shortcomings:

  • You will only see the negative.

  • Feelings of discomfort and frustration will increase.

• Conversely, when you actively remember and remind yourself of the good points:

  • You will feel more grateful and content.

  • Relationships become more relaxed and positive.

• This is a crucial step for changing your life in a healthy direction, especially in mental and emotional well-being.

Step 3: Stop comparing to live more lightly

Understand why comparison makes you tired

• One of the common reasons many people are dissatisfied with life is the habit of comparing themselves to others.

• Most of us tend to compare our weaknesses with others' strengths, thereby creating self-pressure and feelings of inadequacy.

• To apply a positive way to change your life, you need to identify and break this comparison loop.

Learn to let go of envy

• No life is absolutely perfect, no matter how good it seems from the outside.

• The people you admire for their wealth, talent, or relationships have all experienced their own difficulties and insecurities.

• When you feel envious, remind yourself that:

  • You are only seeing a part of the story.

  • Everyone has a different life journey and challenges.

• This helps you refocus on your own life, instead of expending energy on others.

Reduce social media use to protect your mental health

• Social media is the environment most likely to trigger comparison, as it mostly reflects curated positive aspects.

• You can try:

  • Temporarily stopping Instagram, Facebook, or similar platforms for a few days.

  • Limiting daily online time.

• Many people find that after just a short time, their mood improves and their satisfaction with life increases significantly.

Secret 3: How to change your appearance to be more confident

Step 1: Improve physical health to enhance quality of life

Why physical training helps change your life

• Regular exercise not only helps you achieve a leaner physique but also:

  • Strengthens cardiovascular health.

  • Reduces the risk of many common diseases.

  • Increases energy and improves mood daily.

• This is an important part of how to change your life in a healthy and sustainable way.

Meet recommended activity levels for adults

• To maintain good health, you should meet one of the following levels each week:

  • 150 minutes of moderate-intensity aerobic activity, such as brisk walking or light swimming.

  • 75 minutes of vigorous-intensity aerobic activity, such as running, kickboxing, or high-intensity cycling.

• You can break down your workout time throughout the week to make it easier to maintain long-term.

Maintain strength training at least twice a week

• Strength training helps firm up your body and supports better metabolism.

• You can choose:

  • Weight training with appropriate weights.

  • Bodyweight exercises such as push-ups, sit-ups, planks.

• This helps improve overall physical fitness, not just weight loss.

Increase motivation by exercising with others

• Joining a gym or local sports team helps you:

  • Easily maintain your workout routine.

  • Gain motivation by seeing others working hard.

  • Turn exercise into an enjoyable social activity.

• When exercise becomes more fun, you'll be more likely to stick with it long-term.

Step 2: Eat healthy to improve overall health

Understand the connection between diet and life

• In reality, what you eat every day directly affects your weight, energy, and mood.

• Whether your goal is weight loss or just to be healthier, diet is always a core factor in how to change your life sustainably.

Build a balanced and sustainable diet

• Prioritize foundational food groups:

  • Fresh fruits and vegetables.

  • Lean protein like fish, chicken, eggs, beans.

  • Whole grains instead of refined carbohydrates.

• Make it a habit to read food labels:

  • Limit products with artificial colors, synthetic sweeteners, and unnecessary additives.

  • Control sugar intake and empty carbohydrates to avoid weight gain and fatigue.

Adjust your diet to support mental health

• If you often experience anxiety or unstable moods:

  • Reduce alcohol consumption as it can make emotions more volatile.

  • Limit caffeine to avoid stress and insomnia.

• These small adjustments can significantly improve mental health over time.

Prioritize physical and mental health

• In a survey of 537 people who had improved their lives, 55% cited physical and mental health as the most important area to focus on.

• This shows that when the body and mind are properly nourished, other aspects of life are also easier to improve.

Step 3: Reinvent yourself to create motivation for change

Why refreshing your appearance helps improve your life

• Changing your appearance is not just about looking better; it also strongly impacts emotions and self-confidence.

• A simple act like getting a haircut or trying a different style can make you feel like you're starting a new phase.

• This is a quick and practical way to initiate how to change your life from the outside, which then radiates inward.

Streamline and refresh your wardrobe

• Get rid of items that make you feel sloppy, insecure, or no longer suit you.

• Prioritize choosing outfits that:

  • Flatter your figure and make you feel comfortable.

  • Are appropriate for your age, situation, and current lifestyle.

  • Have a clear personal style, without needing to follow trends.

• The goal isn't to dress elaborately, but to actively present the best version of yourself every day.

Change your hairstyle for a fresh feeling

• A new hairstyle can completely change the impression you make.

• You might consider:

  • Getting a neater haircut or trying a style you've never had.

  • Changing your hair color subtly to refresh your look.

• For women, adding layers, bangs, or a short cut can also bring a noticeable difference.

Adjusting appearance flexibly for men

• Men can quickly change their style through:

  • Growing a beard, mustache, or clean-shaving to create a new look.

  • Experimenting with different beard styles to see which suits them best.

• These changes are simple but help you see yourself differently in the mirror every day.

Balance your life to live more actively and happily

Maintain a balance between work and enjoyment

• Focusing solely on work can lead to burnout and missing out on the joy of life.

• Conversely, if you only entertain yourself without purpose, a feeling of boredom will soon appear.

• Balancing these two factors is a crucial foundation for a sustainable way to change your life.

Build a healthy daily routine

• Sleeping early and waking early helps keep your mind clear and manage your time better.

• Utilize mornings for activities that foster creativity and energy:

  • Writing, drawing, crafting.

  • Running or light outdoor exercise.

• These habits help you start your day more positively.

Find positive role models to learn from

• An inspiring person could be a teacher, a family member, or a figure you admire.

• Observing how they live and overcome challenges gives you more motivation to pursue your goals.

• This is an indirect but effective way to change your mindset and life.

Plan but maintain flexibility

• Record daily activities to better manage your time.

• Having a daily plan helps you be proactive and reduce stress.

• However, allow yourself flexibility and occasionally do spontaneous things so life doesn't become rigid.

Actively nurture close relationships

• If you are in a long-term relationship and feel the connection diminishing:

  • Honestly share your feelings with your partner.

  • Agree on small changes together to refresh the relationship.

• Clear communication is key to maintaining a lasting connection.

Build independence and listen to yourself

• Learn to take care of yourself and not depend entirely on others.

• Don't let outside opinions overshadow your true desires.

• This helps you live true to your personal values, a crucial factor in how to proactively change your life.

Cultivate self-respect and self-love

• Accept imperfections, learn to forgive yourself and others when possible.

• Focus on doing things you love and that are meaningful to you.

• When you value yourself, life decisions also become clearer.

Maintain a tidy and purposeful living space

• Cleaning your home and room helps clear your mind and focus better.

• Dress cleanly and neatly whenever you go out to maintain self-confidence.

• Write down your personal dreams and goals, and review them periodically to adjust your direction.

References

1. https://www.niddk.nih.gov/health-information/diet-nutrition/changing-habits-better-health
2. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-happiness-project/200910/stop-expecting-change-your-habit-in-21-days
3. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/social-instincts/202106/4-ways-improve-your-closest-relationships
4. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201911/five-reasons-get-out-your-comfort-zone
5. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/articles/200811/the-art-now-six-steps-living-in-the-moment
6. https://www.urmc.rochester.edu/behavioral-health-partners/bhp-blog/april-2018/5-4-3-2-1-coping-technique-for-anxiety.aspx
7. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/hope-for-relationships/201409/6-ways-to-become-more-positive-today
8. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201710/is-facebook-making-you-depressed
9. https://medlineplus.gov/benefitsofexercise.html
10. https://www.cdc.gov/physical-activity-basics/guidelines/adults.html
11. https://www.cdc.gov/healthy-weight-growth/healthy-eating/
12. https://adaa.org/tips

Translator: Rene Lee Nguyen.